We have one more day until we meet our daughter – at 12pm tomorrow we’ll be seeing her (in person) for the first time AND bringing her home! BUT we did at least get to see some pictures today! Mia sent me a text this morning asking, “Do you want to see pictures or leave it a surprise?” I QUICKLY responded: PICTURES!!! I am terrible at not peeking at Christmas presents too ” Within moments we had three pictures emailed to us. The close-up photo has absolutely seized my heart and not let go. I can’t stop looking at it and feeling an immense urge to speed to the hospital right now and repeatedly kiss those cheeks!! Soon enough, soon enough.
Kayliana – the name – has brought a few raised eyebrows and questions. I expected this, and I am more than ready to explain this BEAUTIFUL and somewhat unique name.
Mike and I wanted to come up with a name that would fit our family but also pay tribute to birth mom Mia and this beautiful multi-racial baby. So, one day we sat around brainstorming (with my dear friend Rachel present as well), we narrowed down to two names that we really like: an Irish name and a Hispanic name. We also wanted a name that wasn’t Mia but kind of in the same sound-family. (Vague, I know, but it makes sense to me). We knew that the middle name would be my mom’s: Therese. The Hispanic name, Ariana was lovely but wouldn’t work ‘cuz then she’d be ATM and people would always be asking her for money. Ariana means “gracious and merciful” or “very holy.” (Pretty loft goals, eh?) And the Irish name, Kayleigh means “One who is like God” – an even loftier goal! We threw the names around a bit and right about the time that we were all name-brainstormed out, Rachel suggested combining them into Kayliana. With the optional just Kayli working too. I loved it right away, but even throughout the evening would occasionally forget what that one name was that Rachel came up with. At bed that night I prayed about it, asking that we come up with the perfect name for this perfect baby for our family. In the morning, my first waking thought was: Kayliana. And I just knew. Also, to add extra meaning: Kaylia is the Hawaiian version of Cecilia (my Confirmation name and the Patron Saint of Music) and of course Ana is a form of Ann – my middle name and Aunt’s name. So many meanings, so perfectly fitting and beautiful if I do say so myself.
And I’d now like to address the gender thing. Yes, even though two doctors told Mia that this was a girl-baby I was pretty incredulous as we’d been told once before that we were having a girl. I would not trade my two boys for ANYTHING, but we did go into this adoption thing feeling called to add a daughter and little sister to our family. I pretty much spent the last several weeks having an internal struggle: “What if they’re wrong? What if it’s a boy? I’ve got a lot of pink this time ‘round!!” Mike reassured me daily that it was a girl. Rebecca reassured me daily that it was a girl. A LOT of people thought I was crazy for thinking maybe it wasn’t a girl. My neighbor always said, “Fingers crossed and thinking pink!” Oh, me of little faith.
Yesterday morning, I drove myself to insanity. We knew Mia was pushing and that at any moment we’d hear the news. I prayed incessantly for Mia and for Baby (too scared even at the moment to say Baby GIRL). I finally handed Mike my phone and told him to babysit it while I took a shower. I had just closed the bathroom door when I heard the ‘beep’ that would change my life.
I flew out of the bathroom yelling, “I heard it!! I heard that beep!”
Mike laughed, “Yeah, I figured that when the bathroom door banged open.”
Shaking like a leaf, I sat down on the bed next to Mike. He opened my phone and the first thing I saw was “Baby Girl Born.” I started kicking my legs, screaming, sobbing, laughing, snotting, snorting and saying “YAY, YAY, YAY, YAY, YAY!!!” all at the same time. Mike just laughed at me and grinning from ear-to-ear said, “I told you so. And so did the doctors.”
“BUT I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT!” I wailed. I didn’t believe that for once, things might actually go the really, really awesome way where the doctors are actually right. We’ve always had the motto that, if there’s a small percentage of something – we’ll be there. This was applied to: a less than 5% chance of having a reoccurrence of cancer, doctors saying there was only a 5% chance of having a boy (who totally rocks, by the way), a 10% chance that Mike would need surgery on his foot, a 2% chance that I’d go into preterm labor, etc. We are medical marvels. We are the 2-10% that make doctors have to tell you that, yes, there is small, seemingly impossible unlikely outcome. So you can understand that I needed something really big to make me believe in what doctors have to say. Well, I’m a believer. Hallelujah!