What. A. Ride. Yesterday afternoon, we were in the front yard so the boys could do the slip-n-slide. I sat in the shade and sobbed as I talked to our social worker, Joy, on the phone – because I was just SO SURE that Birth Mom would pick us. I just kept wondering how it would ever feel so right when I really, REALLY believed this was The One!! Anyway, Matthew -- all dripping wet -- came and put his arms around me. He rubbed my back and said, "Mommy, we'll get picked soon. I just know it." Ahhh, that kid. Seriously. That kid speaks the voice of God more than any little booger I know.
I sobbed for two hours. Then at 5:30, Joy called.
“Hey, Jenny,” she said. “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
“I’m OK,” I replied. I had, in fact, stopped crying – not because I’d run out of tears but because I’d run out of time. We were just about to walk out the door to a neighborhood party at the park. I was going to attempt to put on a happy face.
“Are you alone?” She asked.
“Um,” I looked around the living room at the boys jumping around excitedly as we were about to leave. “I could step out on the deck.”
“No, that’s OK. You’re home. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t driving or anything…’cuz….You ARE it.”
Wait. Wha….? The….? Wa-Huh???
She went on to tell me that she hadn't realized just how close it'd been between us and this other family. But Birth Mom – for whatever reason HAD picked the other family although it’d been a difficult choice. In the end, however, the other family decided that they weren’t the right match after all. Thankfully, Birth Mom was NOT disappointed at all; she’s thrilled that WE’RE IT!!!
Part of the issue was that the other family did not feel confident in supporting and promoting this baby’s different races. (Baby will be mostly Caucasian with a little AfricanAmerican, a little Hispanic, a little Native American and a WHOLE LOT GORGEOUS). Joy – God bless her – assured Birth Mom that despite us looking as white as white can be and only having pictures with white friends and family in our book, we were ecstatic and enthusiastic about transracially adopting. And needless to say I AM ecstatic and enthusiastic.
All afternoon I just couldn’t shake the feeling, “But it felt so perfect. How is ever going to feel as perfect?! I was SURE this was it.” And I was right. Yay!
Obviously there are still several go’s on this rollercoaster ‘til all is complete. We’ll have a face-to-face “match meeting” with Birth Mom and her parents next week. If all goes well (as we’re confident it will), then we can move forward. Birth Mom could still – of course – change her mind at any time (up to 48 hours POST birth), so please keep her in your prayers as I cannot IMAGINE what a difficult process this is for her.
Sometime near November 25th (hopefully!) our baby girl will come home with us. Now, THIS will be a Thanksgiving we’ll never forget.