While Zachary may no longer need my womanly goods for his food source, it’s nice to know that he’s still attached to me…literally…attached…to my hair. I’ve addressed this in my blogging days of Yore – that Zachary has this thing for my hair. If I have it pulled back in a pony tail, he gets all distraught and tries to pull it out. It’s his security thing – sure he’s got little blankies and soft animal cuddlies, but nothing works quite so well as Mommy’s hair. Yes, it’s weird, I know.

Would it be weird to ask the lady who cuts my hair if I could keep the clippings? I’ll find one of those crafty moms (you know the ones: they scrapbook, quilt all their child’s bedding, monogram their underwear, make their own organic baby food from fruit and vegetables they grow in their own garden, etc., etc.). Anyway, I’ll have this crafty mom fashion a special blankie for Zachary made entirely out of my hair.

Gross. That’s totally gross.

OK, on to a completely unrelated topic but one that I must address. We received a mini-catalogue in the mail today. It’s called Woman Within. I had to visit the website for further information. I learned that Woman Within is “the new name of Lane Bryant Catalogue.” They sell clothing of “comfort, fit & value for sizes 12W to 44W.” Now, my first question pertains to this name Woman Within. Are they saying that there is a woman buried deep within this plus-sized woman? What’s wrong with the woman on the outside? May I remind America, that size 12-14ish is the AVERAGE size of the modern American woman. But really, on further inspection, I’ve discovered that the woman within refers to the models for this clothes catalogue. They are carrotesque and I could eat one for lunch (slathered in Ranch dressing), therefore, I too, would have a woman within! It’s absurd that they have tiny women model clothes that are meant to appeal to larger gals. When they put these size 2-ish models in size 20W-ish clothes, it’s nearly impossible to see the woman within. The models are swallowed by the clothes and because of their slight measurements; the clothes appear ginormous (giantly enormous). Why? Why would they do this? I demand answers, and I’ve asked for them. I just sent an inquiring email to the customer service department of Woman Within. We’ll just see what they have to say for themselves. Doh! They’re telling me, “The websites for the Redcats USA family of brands are temporarily unavailable. We will be back shortly.” Apparently, they don’t want to receive my pro-larger ladies email. There are plenty of beautiful, bigger-boned, realistic role MODELS that they could employ. Ridiculous. OK, now I’ve successfully sent my email, so we’ll see what kind of response I get. I’ll keep you abreast. (Yes, pun intended by this no-longer-nursing Mama).