I’ve done it. After two weeks of deep deliberation and analysis, I have selected the sticker that will adorn my beautiful laptop. It was kind of like choosing a tattoo (and I’ll go on record here, to say that I’ve never done that). How do you choose one little word, phrase or image that fully represents you? You should really love it because you could be stuck with it for quite some time or in this case, it will be STUCK on a laptop for quite some time.

I knew that my sticker would need to be somehow running-related. I am, by no means, a good runner, nor am I a 100% fully-committed, nonstop runner. However, running, to me, has served as a serious means of recognizing abilities that I had no idea I had. Running is so much more than building up miles, accumulating blisters and chafing skin. Training and running has taught me that if I set my mind on a goal and really want it – there’s no stopping my dedication; I’ll make it happen. My running became a metaphor and lesson on life for me.

In my search for laptop art, I knew my computer décor had to be something more than just running though – the sticker that I chose would somehow have to define me. I liked the basic “RunnerGirl” sticker – complete with little cartoon running girl. Cute. But no, that wasn’t it. I also really like the one that said, “The Woman who finishes the race, is not the same woman who began.” I like the point of it, but it’s definitely too wordy for me. PLEASE, I am a woman of FEW words. I like things to be concise, to the point. I don’t like it when things drag on and on, when you already know where an idea is headed without needing more and more pointless, drawn-out description and detail. Right.

My search continued. And then I found it. It’s girly, but strong, simple yet bold: an oval sticker with a little bit of swirly, whirly edging under the one word: ENDURANCE. I love it. (In fact, I love it so much that I might just have to get it tattooed on my hindquarters.) When I thought about endurance on my run this morning, I realized more and more why ENDURANCE is the perfect sticker for me.

Dictionary.com says ENDURANCE is:

1.
the fact or power of enduring or bearing pain, hardships, etc.

2.
the ability or strength to continue or last, esp. despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions; stamina: He has amazing physical endurance.

3.
lasting quality; duration: His friendships have little endurance.

4.
something endured, as a hardship; trial.
Here is my definition of endurance; my personal ODE TO my ENDURANCE:

ENDURANCE IS:

- Running 26.2 miles in 5 hours and 15 minutes with a cold and in 75degree heat along side one of my very best friends…and talking the whole time.
- Lying in bed for 49 days…for seven weeks, locked in a hospital bed, to keep Zachary cooking. And then coming home to a crazy new life with Mike, a confused and angst-riddled Matthew, and Preemie Zach…Not to mention learning to walk on completely atrophied, post- bed rest muscles.
- Limping through the first year of our marriage – with hospital visits, Chemo, Radiation – and still sticking out the race.
- Overcoming the darkness that is Post Partum Depression…trying to find myself in the darkest, most unfathomable moments, and coming out the other side, striving to accept the new-ME and loving me. Surviving.
- Forcing 60 puberty-stricken seventh graders to sing and dance on stage. (And actually getting them to decently carry a tune).
- Having to leave the hospital without my babies and having to watch them undergo treatment in the NICU.
- Getting 12 three-and-under-year-olds to sit still(ish) in order to sing songs and play instruments.
- Surviving middle school as a chubby, poofy-short-haired band geek.
- Being honked at by truck drivers on a run…and refraining from giving them the one finger salute.
- Accepting that no matter what I do, it may not ever be quite enough for some people.
- Breastfeeding – when it’s the most painful and last thing that a gal wants to do in the middle of the night. (And yet getting up a couple of hours later to do it again).
- Trying not to take it too personally when discovering one of my high school ex-boyfriends is gay and is now also married to a man named Michael. (I didn’t see that one coming!)
- Knowing that thanks to my predisposition to carrying weight in the gut (i.e. “The Mommy Pooch”), I will always look about 4 ½ months pregnant. (Luckily, the empire/high waist, maternity look is back in)!
- Writing. Writing when I know that there’s a good chance I may never be published, but I still have plenty to say and want to say it.
- The knowledge that despite whatever hardships, stress or pain I may experience, there are always millions of people suffering way more than I. And when it comes down to it, my life is a dream, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
- Reading all the way through my BLOG! Keep up the good work! Way to endure!

How about you? What’s your personal Ode to Endurance? Make a list – I’m sure it’s a very therapist-approved activity.