I’m so into the whole self-help, therapy, Yoga, New Age-y growth and personal development thing right now that I think we’re all a little scared. (Although FEAR is merely Mother Nature’s way of telling us that there is a problem. We must listen to our “Self-Talk” and within ourselves clarify our desired outcome so as to work through the “fight or flight” response.) Again, I’m pretty into this stuff. I may have turned a bit into a brain-washed mini-therapist. I find myself, when chatting with friends, asking them, “Well, how does that make you feel?” And “Why do you think you responded that way? What is going on inside?” This is either: a good thing and I can provide my people with a bit of their own (unsolicited) therapy OR the jig will be up soon, I’ll get called out on my new counseling tendencies and mocked like there ain’t no tomorrow. I am open to either option as I have no control over the response of others, I cannot change the world around me only my response to it, and I must recognize when my expectations aren’t met and move on….Yes, one could easily say that I’m obsessed with reprogramming my outlook on life. I recently learned that it takes 8-16 times of hearing something for it to truly saturate your sub-conscious thought and become a natural response. So, I guess I’m trying to get that 8-16 doses as quickly as possible.

Let’s take a look at my book collection right now, shall we? I once was a believer in the only-one-book-at-a-time philosophy. Somewhere over the last couple of years, I’ve slowly evolved into a multi-book reader. I’m currently reading a parenting book, a book with Mike (a fantasy, sci-fi type that I’m really not that into, but shhh, don’t tell), my book club book for the month, a “fluffy” read (right now, a Coffeehouse Series murder mystery), a self-help audio book (Stress Reduction Workshop for Women), a writing book – Pen on Fire: A Busy Woman’s Guide to Igniting the Writer Within, and I start every morning with my cup of coffee and Daily Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much. Oh, and there’s a copy of Runner’s World Magazine in every bathroom lest I forget to bring a book with me for a one of my brief moments of me-time. (Look, I’ll take it wherever I can get it). I’m discovering that there is never enough time in a day to do all that I want to do and read all that I want to read. (Not that this is a Woah! Discovery, Ahh-Haa-Oprah-Moment by any means). So, what am I to do since I cannot change the amount of time in a day? I have to prioritize and make time. (It’s Saturday morning, and I’ve been up for an hour while the boys are all still in bed…I’m on the right track, though that sleep thing sure is good).

A year ago, right now, I had way more than enough of that in-bed, DOWN-TIME. Last year, on March 24^th, I’d already been in bed, in the hospital for 12 days. TWELVE DAYS! (And I still had another 37 coming my way). I am definitely not desperate enough for down-time to want to relive that hospital-arrest situation nor will I ever be. And even during the experience, I recognized that there would come a day where a good book in bed would sound like a welcome respite from the craziness of Mommyhood. But 49 days of down-time? I don’t think so; no thank you. I’ll take my current lack-of-time over the too-much-time any day.