Too fast! These boys are just plain growing up too fast. And there are two specific instances that have recently screamed their speeding maturity to me. First: Valentines. My boys no longer care for cute Valentines. Last year I was still able to convince Zach to go with “Winnie-the-Pooh and Friends” cards. And Matthew made his own John Deere Valentines. Not this year. Matthew’s eyes zero-ed in on a box at the store that screamed manly-coolness: “G.I. Joe – the Rise of Cobra.” OK, obviously he has not SEEN the movie – Rise of the Cobra as that’s rated PG-13. He doesn’t even know much about G.I. Joes – other than the fact that they are cool “army guys” – which IS cool, I will admit. But boy, do these companies ever know how to market their stuff or what?!! It’s like little boys looking at a row of Valentine’s cards at the store are already being judged on their boy-manliness. You MUST choose the coolest, edgiest looking box. And of course, following big brother’s lead: Zachary refused any box other than the G.I. Joe cards too.

And the messages on these cards! They crack me up! “You’re a true ninja!” “You’re skilled, Valentine!” “Your Primary Objective: Have a great day!” “Stick to the Plan and have a Happy Valentine’s Day!” “Prepare for Operation Valentine’s Day!”

Now, it will be interesting to see if Matthew gives love-interest Emma gets the same ‘ol G.I. Joe Valentine as everybody else. This is the other thing that tells me he’s growing up too fast: this little Kindergarten crush is still going strong and…oh man…they’re into “cuddling” at school! I asked Matthew the other day, when walking home from the bus, what fun things he’d gotten to do at school. He sighed.

“Cuddled. Emma and I got to cuddle at school.”

In my head, I did a sitcom-move: not taking my eyes off Matthew, I walked into a parked car or something. In real life, I kept my cool and said, “Where did you cuddle?”

“Oh,” Matthew says nonchalantly, “We cuddle on the playground, in the hallway, in the lunchroom, in class…wherever cuddling can happen, we cuddled!”

(Sitcom-take: I was drinking something. I spat-spewed it out.)

“So, what do you mean by ‘cuddled’?” I ask feigning the nonchalance in his tone.

“Emma puts her head on my shoulder and calls me Pillow.” He laughs. The little smooth-movin’ smooth-talkin’ 6 year old ‘playuh’ laughs – voice smooth as velvet with Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” suddenly playing throughout the neighborhood on some secret sound system. The birds start flying in heart-shaped formation and bunnies – multiplying by the moment – frolic on grassy knolls-of-front-yards. He sighs again – an expulsion of kindergarten-love that still just seems a little too dedicated and serious for my taste. “I love it when she calls me Pillow.”

This is how I know my boys are growing up too fast.