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Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Ahh, the Zachisms – never ending; always funny.

Yesterday morning, Zachary and I headed downstairs so that he could watch a 20 minute show on PBS while I hopped in the shower. It was about 7:30 – so not super bright out, but not dark either. I was about to turn on the light when Zach yelled, “No! Mom, no. I don’t need the light on. I’ve been eating lots of carrots lately, and I can now see in the dark like a bat.” Really? Hmm, fascinating.
What’s really ironic about this is that the stinker actually has had carrot-related issues. He’s been a bit anti-them recently. And a few weeks ago, we discovered a withered little, flaccidly-floppy (or floppily-flaccid) baby carrot tucked discretely in the dark abyss between an arm chair and the wall in the living room. This was no accidentally lost baby carrot. This was a I’m-so-outsmarting-these-suckers-by-making-them-think-I’ve-eaten-all-my-baby-carrots-meanwhile-I-will-sneakily-create-a-baby-carrot-cemetary-behind-the-chair. Mooo-ah-ahh-ahhhh (evil child laugh)! They’ve so been duped.

And when did our little, sneaky carrot-planter get up from the table and chuck his carrot behind the living room chair?? It remains a mystery. But now, I know: maybe thanks to his ability to” see in the dark like a bat” he’s been able to alter his methods of carrot-hiding. He plays the role of a good, carrot-eating boy at the table; all the while he’s hiding carrots in his clothing. Then, later, under the cloak of darkness (which he can see in ever-so-easily), he creeps into the living room to give that poor unsuspecting baby carrot a dark, clandestine resting place.

Once I’d showered (woohoo!) and dressed (also very important and admirable), we headed out the door to preschool. Whilst in the car, I began singing the ABC’s. I told Zach that when I was a little girl (WAY back in the days of yore and yesteryear), Grandma and I would sing the ABC’s in the car ALL the way to my preschool…we’d see how many ABC’s it took us until we got there. (I hope that we didn’t live that far away. I have a vague memory of announcing that it took five times all the way through, but I may just be making that up.)

Zach was silent for a moment, and then said, “You sang the ABC’s when you were little?”

“Yep,” I said.

“But were they the SAME ABC’s??”

What? Like I’m SO old the ABC’s weren’t invented yet? Or we grunted them like cave people? What exactly are you implying, MR. Carrot Hider?!

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