I'm cancelling my birthday this year. It was probably going to be extra sucky-hard anyway like all ‘special days’ are right now, so I think I just won't bother. Even Mike -- who is usually awesome at spoiling me 'cuz he knows I'm a high maintenance, stuck up, self-involved birthday diva, has several times made comments to mentally prepare me for potential lack of over-the-top birthdayness. (And to be clear, all his statements are completely true, I don’t argue with any of them, and I hope he knows that I totally agree and am on board. He does now! It’s in writing. You’ve all seen it. He better not get me anything for my birthday. If he does you all have my permission to berate him). He’s said the following: "We're really over-budget already this month.” [True and totes my fault.] “I'm not sure what I'm going to get you.” [Again, he shouldn’t be getting me anything.]. “I don't know when I'll have time to go shopping." [First of all. shopping for what and with what money? Secondly, yeah, this week, we’ve got baseball Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Wednesday – our one, baseball-free weeknight, we’re mentoring an engaged couple from church. How is he supposed to fit in shopping (even if we had extra wads of cash lying around) with that kind of schedule?! It’s crazy talk.] I’m not good at math but I’m pretty sure, No Time + No $ + No Shopping = No Birthday Presents which = JUST FINE!!
(As a quick reminder, I’m such a birthday diva that: once, I was convinced an awesome teacher in high school – who knew it was my birthday as I made sure anyone interacting within 50 miles of me knew it – was joking when she said our end of the year physics final would be on May 24th. It had to be a joke, that jokester! I failed that test. Many years later, I was home alone with a toddler Matthew and baby Zachary having a pity party about the lack of birthday festivities, I heard the garage door open and was convinced we were being broken into my birthday. I was prepared to scare said-robber away with my ‘it’s my birthday get the stank outta my house’ tantrum….it was Mike coming home to surprise me with the news that I got to go have a massage…and then return to a surprise party at the house. Again, he knows how I roll come birthday time.)
Also, a major change in my birthday for this year is already underway. For the past, hmmm, many, many years, we’ve celebrated my birthday/Memorial Day weekend with my parents and brother at the beach condo/house. Up until yesterday, in discussions with my mom, we were still thinking that we could do this. And then, we had our wake up call. See, Mom’s decided to sell their local condo. She will be moving to a swanky, gorgeous ‘cruise ship on land’ retirement home and WE COULDN’T BE HAPPY FOR HER. It’s perfect. She’s SO happy about it and we really, REALLY encouraged her to follow her gut and make this move. My brother Chris will, therefore, also be making a HUGE move. For the first time ever he’ll be living on his own – but the beauty is, we found him an awesome little studio apartment ACROSS THE STREET from Mom’s place. He’ll be able to walk to work, spend every evening with Mom if he wants and also get into a new routine of having some independence. This is a huge change. But Chris, being one who loves routine and the comfort of what he knows, has already had his life turned upside down. With Dad’s sudden death, Chris’ entire world (and ours, but especially his) was shaken up. We really feel that while Mom is healthy and able to help him make this transition it makes sense to do it now, rather than wait until another big something happens and maybe Mom isn’t as able to help. It’s perfect. It’s awesome. We’re all excited and happy about it…but until the moves are all done, there’s a wee-bit-o work to do.
So, back to me-me-me and my-my-my, and why I’m cancelling my birthday. Mom is listing the condo with a real estate agent and that lady came in like a tornado yesterday giving her ginormous list of to-do’s. (Nothing TOO crazy, but still A LOT for a widow to handle: removing pictures, patching nail holes, repainting a room, downsizing/rearranging furniture, etc.) We’re already looking at the looming deadline of June 2nd – when Chris gets to move into his new ‘bachelor pad’ (woot woot)! And now, we have just a few days to get their place ‘show-ready.’ Not to mention, that eventually before SHE moves (by July 3rd) we’ll need to downsize from 3000 to 1000 square feet.
I’m Pa-RAYING that this place sells quickly (which we’ve been told it will – it’s a large, waterfront condo in a very desirable area with a private elevator inside. C’mon St. Joseph!). So, in order to help this all go as smoothly as possible, I’m cancelling my birthday and I’m 100% OK with it. For reals. Mom is overwhelmed and has such a heavy load to carry. I want – and need – to help as much as possible. I’m checking my ego at the door, friends. Hmm! Maybe that’s a sign of maturity!