It. Is. On. I keep trying to remind myself of my accomplishments (not to be braggy, honestly, but to reassure myself): If I’ve run a marathon, written a book, done 7 weeks of hospital bedrest, spent my wedding night in the ER and then Newlywed time doing Chemo/Radiation, suffered Post Partum Depression, co-coordinated a national convention for nearly 500 people, survived the roller coaster of adoption…….then I should (technically) be able to get our house ready to sell, pack everything up, find the house of our dreams and move all while maintaining some sanity, not murdering anyone (especially the immediate family members), planning a surprise 70th birthday party for my mom (Pat Kramer – I need your email address so I can send you the details! Email my dad), and yet not gain 500 pounds in stress-induced chocolate eating while doing all this. Right? RIGHT?! I should be able to do this. (This reminds me of what Louise – therapist – taught me back in my PPD therapy days…I’m just “shoulding” all over myself and that makes for a big mess.)

So, yes, we’ve decided that it’s time. And while I’m definitely the one responsible for getting this whole ca-razy ball a-rollin’ (think Mountain House Debacle 2011), it’s still understandable that I’m totally, completely and thoroughly conflicted about this. In my head, every other minute, I’m excited about it and, in the next, totally sad about it. How can we leave this house? We’ve been through and experienced so much here! This is the home where we brought our babies from the hospital! This is where it’s all happened. I could go on and on, but I won’t. We’ve lived here 9 years and have packed those years (and this house!!) with an enormous amount of memories (and stuff!).

However, with all that said, we know that change can be hard, but also good. This will be most difficult for Matthew to accept (who has spent the last few months praying fervently every night that we “never move…ever.”) I figure, I’m doing him a service so that he has one moving experience before we kick him out the door for college and force him to move in ten years. Just kidding. (Well, maybe, depending on how the teenage years go.)

Anyway, in conclusion: we’re beginning the arduous task of getting our house, our home, ready for selling. Our goal (self-inflicted because I need/love me a deadline!) is to have the house ready to list March 1st. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ll put it on the market ON March 1st. We’re not moving just to move. We’re moving, ideally, to our forever house. So, we’re going to be awfully picky and it may take a while to find THE ONE (as we know there have been false alarms about THE ONE in the past – think Mountain House Debacle 2011.) But we’ll be ready. As ready as we can be. Gulp.

And to answer the, “So, where are you moving to?” question for those of you who know us: our dream would be to stay in our current awesome little city/suburb but a little more East-ish. We love how centrally located we are right now and that we can walk to our little downtown area – stores, restaurants, soon a library! Why the heck would we leave? We have wonderful neighbors. We have two awesome parks within walking distance too. But, there’s a part of me that loves the idea of being just a little farther away. Having a little more open space – a little more freedom to roam. I mean, there are three mountains and two small lakes within 15 minutes of us currently. Maybe we’ll live on one! Who knows?!

We also are quite open to the awesome bigger suburb/city that is a lot more East-ish – again, Mountain House Debacle 2011 – I would love to end up in the same neighborhood as the original Mountain House, however, that place was a smokin’ deal so I highly doubt we could afford anything else up there. We are also open to possibly going a bit more south yet east which would take us closer to Mike’s office, but we want to stay central for the day that he doesn’t work there (retires or switches companies). We could afford a lot more house and property if we went southeast, but we really do like where we’re at currently. Oh, the choices. Oh, the possibilities. Oh, holy crap. Yeah, I understand why moving is one of those ‘top stressers in life’ things. So, why? Why do it?

Because the Mountain House Debacle planted the seed and now it can’t be unplanted. It’s a great time to do it. The interest rates are riDONCulously good. We bought at a good time nine years ago, so we're able to do this now. It’s a good time to invest in our future, forever home. This will be the home where our children will get an amazing education. The grandkids will come visit us (eventually). Where everyone – kids, their spouses, their offspring – can come for Christmas. Where I will write award-winning novels. Where Mike has an office space for working from home and writing award-winning software. (Guess we should also get a place with an award display area.) Yes, we could do all of those things in this home, but this home, while it’s been wonderful and perfect for us, never felt like our forever home. It's not about anyone else -- it's about us. It’s already a hard decision, and I need to let go of the fact that some friends, family may judge us for it. It’s just what feels right…even though it’s not going to be easy.

So, the search begins…