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Monday, December 05, 2011

I suppose it’s time to provide the update that I dreaded typing. Last Thursday, I drove up to visit our Mountain House – my dream home, the one that is THE ONE. that I’ve been packing and prepping for. It felt so right. The “for sale” sign was still up (despite the “Pending” status that remained on-line). As I drove down the mountain, I noticed how the thick fog clouds blanketed Issaquah and Lake Sammamish below. It didn’t help that it happened to be magical. It was all cloudy and gloomy below, but on the top of the mountain all was sunny and clear.

That night, we had friends over for dinner and told them of our plans – prepping the house post-holidays for listing – and making an offer on the Mountain House in the New Year. (Counting on the fact that the current “Pending” sale rubbish would fall through since it was all some kind of mistake, some nasty joke, seeing as the house was OUR house). As soon as our friends walked out the door, and I stood in the quiet of the kitchen doing the dishes, I felt it. A looming dread, a sad clairvoyance.

When Mike came in after putting the boys to bed I told him. “I don’t know why, but I just feel really sad all of a sudden about the mountain house.”

In the morning, the moment my alarm went off I knew. This whole thing has been weird – the feelings that I’ve had about this house. I still cling to the fact – which makes it even harder to let go – that it just felt SO RIGHT. That it felt like THE ONE (the way Mike did, the way Kayliana’s birth mom did). So, how could it not be?! I dragged myself out of bed, turned on my laptop and opened up email. Sure enough. No surprise. The email notification from informing me of “Listing updates – 1 sold.” There was the address that was supposed to be OUR address (on which I'd already mentally printed return labels)!

I’m proud to say that my first thought was, “Um, yeah, I need to go for that run.”

When I got home, Zach was sitting on the couch and I told him, “Bad news, kiddo, those OTHER people bought our Mountain house.”

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” he said. “I know how much you wanted it. I did too.”

Then, when I told Matthew (who prayed every night that we DIDN’T get the house), he did a victory fist-pump and woo-hoo’ed in the air. I told him that he wasn’t being nice like a mean winner who’s all, “Haha! I won. You lost! In your face”-about it. Seeing that I was genuinely quite sad, he dropped it.

Later that morning, at the bus stop, I told the news to a neighbor-friend, Dianna and Andrea – my running partner/dear neighbor friend who’s been pissed since Day One of my Mountain House fantasy.

“Yeah, apparently God loves Matthew more than me ‘cuz He answered his prayers and not mine,” I grumbled.

“And mine too!” spoke up Atheist Andrea.

“Oh!” Dianna said. “Apparently God decided ‘Sure, Andrea, I’ll answer your prayer of making sure Jenny doesn’t move…if it means you’ll acknowledge that I exist!'”

“Great. God loves the Atheist more than me too!” I joke. “But whatever, I guess I can give up my dream home if it means Andrea’s salvation.”

So, here we are. I will admit it feels nice to have a little more breathing room in getting our house projects done; the holidays are crazy enough without those needing to happen as well. And Mike and I’ve agreed that, we will move…just maybe not right now…not until we find (another, a different) The One. But I’m looking. Even if it takes years. Who knows, maybe the Mountain House will be back up for sale in another year or two and I will have been right afterall!

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