I have my ten-year high school reunion this weekend. In true Holy Names Academy fashion, this will not be just a lame ‘ol reunion. No, my friends, this is a three day extravaganza of reunion fun. Round One (ding!) commences this evening. (Do I have time to drop ten pounds? I also need to achieve some major accomplishments…hmm, nah. I’m good.) We start with a pre-funk dinner that a few of us girls planned (yes, we’re still in the same cliques; not that much has changed). Then, we head over to a bar for the “unofficial/official” Round One (ding!) Reunion. For some dorky reason, (and the fact that I just said dorky, is indeed, very dorky), it was decided that the all boys’ school – O’Dea – Class of ’98 should join in for our Bar Reunion tonight. I think that’s lame because a.) girls rule and boys drool and b.) most of us didn’t “know” (date) many of them. Whatever. They couldn’t plan their own dealy, so they had to just come and be with the ladies. Nice excuse.
Because I am the most pro-my-high-school nerd I know, I will be at ALL three events of the three-day extravaganza. Round One (ding!) as I mentioned, is tonight’s bar part-ay. Tomorrow afternoon, Round Two (ding!) is the “BBQ at the Beach (Beach not included)” event where spousal units and offspring are welcome. That’s the one where we get to parade our little genius spawn about.
I’ve been drumming all sorts of advanced equations into Matthew’s head (so far, he knows: 1 + 1. 2 + 1. And 2 + 2). He also, however, tells people that his little brother Zach is two, while holding up four fingers. We’re working on it. I may blame that on his being a preemie. I can milk that one for any little intellectual issues that may arise. Yes, good plan.

Now, Zach, is much more physically-inclined, so we’ve been working on some dance-kung fu-yoga-baseball-throwing-type-arm-thrust moves that he can use to impress the ladies. (He prefers to call this “dancing”). He – just like his brother – is ridiculously cute, so he’s got that going for him too.
As for my “Trophy Husband:” Mike has promised that I’m allowed to pick out his clothes, he actually shaved today so the scruffiness will be kept to a minimum, and my guess is that he’ll try to downplay the Computer Nerd thing just a little bit as most people just can’t understand talk about rebooting or Java-Script or even Quantum Physics if you’re feeling frisky.
Finally, Round Three (ding!) is the “official” Reunion for the Holy Names Academy Class of ’98. That’s when we get a little dressed up – just like on “School Liturgy Dress-Up” days and go to the school to act all lady-like while sitting in the parlors (that you never actually go to EVER when you’re IN school, just when you’re an alum). We make small-talk with the nuns who probably don’t actually remember any of us. And we rave about how lovely the school looks, how much they’ve done since we’ve graduated (i.e. why couldn’t WE have had the new lockers?! Etc.). I’m fairly certain that we are to put napkins across our laps, eat dainty pastries and fruit and sip coffee or tea with pinkies poised. (Actually, it won’t be like that at all, I just like to pretend). Then, the piece de resistance is the Class picture on the front steps of the school. It’s a reenactment of the picture that every Senior Class does for the yearbook and Seattle Catholic newspaper. It’s all very touching.
I AM looking forward to redeeming myself a little bit from our 5 year reunion…at which I was a walking Jenny-Disaster. At the time, I was pregnant with Matthew (and would find out five days later that I was supposedly pregnant with Abigail Madeline). While I was a very excited and probably glowy pregnant Alum, I was also a VERY chubby and excessively spacey one. I think, on that particular day, the thrill of the reunion and at seeing so many good friends combined with the hormones that were sucking brainpower out of me made for a sad combination. I really wasn’t one of those cute pregnant gals either – I just looked fat. I “showed” in my stomach…and arms…and legs…and cheeks…and probably fingers and toes too. I bet even my eyelashes were fat. I was a walking chubster who couldn’t remember the topic of conversations. One girl pointed out “Jenny! You’ve already asked her where she’s living…twice!” Yeah. It was sad.
So, I’ve been pouring over my yearbook refreshing on names and faces. I’ve studied up on current events, the political climate and have read countless thought-provoking works of literature on which I can enlighten and entertain my former classmates. I was a French major, after all, so I could even gesticulate on the works and ideologies from Montaigne and Descartes to 20th Century Existentialism and Post-Structuralism.
Actually, I just did a Wikipedia search on French Philosophy and have no stinkin’ clue how to talk about that stuff that I studied oh-so long ago. The most I know about current events is that today, I taught my first music class at the Boys & Girls Club and singing and dancing with scarves went quite well. In other news, Zach went peepee in the potty twice yesterday. And as far as philosophy – well, Matthew does say profound things like “We are God’s Legos.”
Existentialism is so overrated anyway.