Today is my last therapy session. I’m pretty bummed about it. So sad, in fact, that I might need some therapy to cope. It has been such an amazing experience – one that everyone should experience at some point in her life. I’m a little disappointed that Louise had it so easy though. I really wanted to experience an appointment where she really had to ask me questions to get me talking. (I suppose, the fact that I never ran out of material to discuss, is no big shocker). It’s been pretty great having such a guilt-free one-sided relationship. There have been times where I thought, hmm, I should probably ask about her – see how she’s doing and all. But then I thought, Nahhh. I’m paying to talk about me not her! Terrible, right? But oh-so satisfying.

I’m going to miss that hour where I sit on the green couch and take a break from my life – look at it from the outside for a bit and see what’s good, what’s not so good and what could use my energy. I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity. So, I guess, in a way, I’m thankful that I had to suffer through Post Partum Depression. While I’d never want to relive it, and it’s a darkness that I’d wish upon no one; it has forced quite the journey of self-discovery though. I also now can truly empathize with the many people I know who suffer from Depression. I think that they’re a misunderstood lot – sometimes considered as weak, making excuses or taking anti-Depressants to avoid coping with life on their own.

I’m currently weaning off of Zoloft – ahh, Zoloft, a friend and foe for this past year – but will continue on Wellbutrin for a bit. And I’m happy about that. I’ve made peace with being on the happy pills. And I’m happy that come January 1st, 2008, I’ve got 20 insurance covered therapy sessions coming my way, should I want it!

Yesterday, Matthew – who has become quite the argumentative, testing-our-limits, talking-back little boy – provided a moment of pure joy to me. I was saying that something had been a good choice (I don’t recall the specifics), and Matthew jumped up, ran over to Zachary and said, “Zachary’s a good choice!” He wrapped his arms around his little brother planted a big kiss on the top of Zach’s head and whispered, “I love you, Zachy.” That, my friends, is a dose of happy, right there.