Why is our entire house slowly being taken over by bodily fluids? Sorry for the details, but we've got some serious issues going on that need to be worked out. Last Friday was CAT PEE 2006 -- (Mistletoe urinated on my wedding dress and in Matthew's closet, for those of you not in-the-know). Yesterday was kid vomit all over a bed, the walls, table and floor. And today -- whew! What a doozy! The morning started with a toddler pee puddle on the sofa and carpet, soon to be followed by baby explosive, blow-out-poo TWICE, and then I had the pleasure of baby spit-up dripping down my shoulder, arm and back. I have gone through almost an entire bottle of Kids and Pets Odor and Stain Remover in just a week! Buy stock now, 'cuz sales are sky-rocketing thanks to the Martin Household 'o Body Function. Somewhere in the middle of this I started thinking that it's time to double my dose of Zoloft -- for some reason I'm just feeling a tad overwhelmed, but thankfully I had a couple of great friends [love ya!] and my mom [love her too] reassure me that ANYONE would be ready for a pity party with all of that. Party on, friends.

Mike is a little concerned. Matthew's new favorite movie and his current obsession is one of my personal favorites: The Little Mermaid. I figure that it's good for two reasons: 1.) Matthew will hopefully pick up on the subtle moral of the film (obey your father or the sea witch will try to turn you into a weird little worm thing. Although Ariel still gets her way regardless of her parental disrespect and the risk of eternity in the mutant merpeople garden). And 2.) Now that Matthew is into The Little Mermaid, my dreams have finally come true -- someone actually asks me to sing Ariel's songs! At last!

We had one heck of a day today (and it ain't over yet)! I took the kiddos down to Mike's office so that his coworkers could finally meet Zachary (who's already four months old!) and see Matthew. We then went to lunch with Mike, dropped him off and went to Babies R Us to get a free birthday portrait of Matthew. Well, it would have been a two hour wait for the next available time, so forget that. We got back in the car at which point Matthew totally lost it -- full on toddler tantrum complete with abusing the mama and screaming at the top of his lungs. This tantrum continued all the way home, into the house, up the stairs, on the potty and into bed for naptime. The kid has stamina, people; there was no letting up. Zachary was starting to fuss due to that whole feed-me-every-two-hours thing, so I left Matthew to scream it out to his bears in his bed. Well, pretty soon I heard a sound which clearly indicated that he would soon be pushing his lamp and fan off of the bedside table in his fit of toddler rage. In order to stop this occurence, I quickly ran to his door and yelled for him to stop. He startled, stood up on his bed, and with fury in his eyes proceded to vomit all over himself, the bed, the safety bed rail, the floor and the wall. OH...MY...GOSH. We both just stood there for a moment transfixed with shock. Then Matthew realized that he was covered in grossness, so he picked up where he'd left off and howled even louder. Before I could get to him he worked himself up again in a serious sob and vomited some more. I repeat: OH...MY...GOSH. My first thought: Children really are a grandparent's revenge. I don't even know how many nights my parents spent washing sheets and cleaning carpets after I'd gotten sick before making it to the bathroom. Back to me though, 'cuz it's all about me, right? So, I've got a crying toddler covered in el puke-o and a baby in the other room crying for el boob-o. Thank God for Zoloft, people. Thank GOD for Zoloft! Oh well, gives me some material for my Blog.

Mistletoe the Christmas Kitty gave us a real swell thank you today for all of our love and support... She peed on my wedding dress. I thought that the urine situation was simply puddled on the plastic bag, but apparently during some of her stay in Matthew's closet (her new favorite hide-out since getting sick) she made herself a nice, cozy little spot by getting into the plastic bag and nuzzling down into the folds of the fabric back surrounding my dress. Anyway, pee soaked through fabric into wedding dress fabric, and we've got ourselves a cat-pee wedding dress, people. Now, the whole keep-your-wedding-dress-forever thing was a bit of a dilemma for me. See, I don't plan on ever wearing it again, chances are slim that any daughter of mine (should we have one) would want to wear that cheesy-so-outdated-thing, it takes up a lot of room in the closet, and quite frankly, my wedding day was not the most stress-free, magical, amazing best-day-of-your-life day that some people have. So, in the end, I think we're just going to have it dry-cleaned but not all sealed and boxed up. We'll either donate it or sell it and another bride can enjoy its cat-pee-free-quality.

Now, whilst on the topic of natural body functions. (Sorry). We had a break-through in the potty-training department! Matthew did his first poo-poo in the potty! Woohoo for the poo-poo! It only took an hour, seven books, and a perma-ring around his bum from the potty seat, but it happened! To give true celebration to the event, Matthew got an immediate prize from the Potty Bag -- a truck, of course. All day he was saying, "Do you want to play with my potty prize truck, Mommy?...See my potty prize truck, Mommy?" Hopefully this post-poo-poo proudness and pleasure do not pass and we continue successfully with the potty training process.

Zachary was baptised on Sunday, and thankfully he didn't pee in the font. Phew! That's always a worry with these nudey baptisms. I think it's appropriate that he get dunked the way that God made him. The water was a little chilly so he did let out a small complaint, but other than that he was the perfect little saint/angel baby that he always is. He was also a serious crowd-pleaser at our post-Church celebratory lunch, providing big smiles to all who held him.

On a sadder note, our wonderful Christmas kitty, Mistletoe is not doing very well. She hadn't been eating so Mike brought her to the animal hospital. She has liver failure and they're not quite sure what's causing it. They know that she also has kidney stones but don't know if she's not eating/has the liver failure because of those or something else. Unfortunately, we really couldn't afford to have her stay at the hospital any longer and they weren't going to do an ultrasound until Thursday. Even if they did determine that she has cancer we wouldn't be able to pay for Chemo and don't know that putting her through that would be just. Another possible issue could be Pancreatitis or Pancreitis...whatever. SO...in the end, we decided to bring her home and medicate for that, force feed her with a syringe and 'water her' (insert an IV needle between her shoulder blades and pump 100cc's of water under her skin once a day). So far, things look promising. She's gotten a little better each day, has started eating on her own occasionally and has stopped hiding in the closet so much. She's sleeping on our bed again and getting back to her old, purring, affectionate-seeking self. We're to give the vet an update on Friday and go from there. Neither Mike nor I have ever had to make that kind of a decision -- what kind of medical treatment you can and should pay for and at what point do you decide it's time to put the animal 'out if its misery'. Mistletoe's only six, so she should have plenty years left of lovin'. We'll hope for the best.

I should provide the update that I did decide to start the Zoloft perscription for postpartum depression. I struggled for so long with the decision and especially with feeling like I was a 'failure' if I couldn't handle things on my own and needed chemical assistance. In the end though, I am SO thankful that I came to that conclusion. I feel like a different person -- I feel like me again! I was so scared that the feelings that I was experiencing of being completely overwhelmed and not in control would never go away, so it's so unbelivably reassuring that it is just due to a hormone imbalance. Now when things get crazy at home, I feel like I can handle things in a healthy way. Someone who took Zoloft for postpartum depression described it as just 'taking the edge off,' and I'd have to completely agree with that. So, while I am sad that I did need the help, I'm happy that it should be a temporary problem, that I can cope now and that I won't spend the first year of Zachary's life miserable. I can enjoy it rather then just try to get through it. So, cheers! Here's to Zoloft!

"Sit down, Sweetcakes." Matthew said this to me the other day. Huh! I've never called him 'Sweetcakes' in my life, so who knows where he got that one! This little Sweetcakes of ours had a very exciting day -- we signed him up for an "Almost Three's" preschool class that will meet Tuesdays from 9:30-11:30 starting in September. I don't know who's more excited about it -- him or me. I think it'll be a win-win situation for all Martins involved. Matthew will get the good learning experience (which at this age is really learning to socialize with other kiddo's in a more structured environment) and time away from home, Zachary will get to have one-on-one Mommy time and I'll get to have one-kid-less break-time. It sounds horrible to be excited about that, but I suppose it's a bit like the Moms who say they're a better Mother for working full-time. Since they have less time with their kids it's more quality time when they are home. Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder; a two hour break will be a very life-giving thing!

When I told Matthew we were going to go see his preschool classroom he got so excited. He assumed that the kids would be there and he started naming all of his toys in the car and saying that he would let the other kids play with them. He's also thrilled about riding the school bus. I've tried to break it to him gently that he's not going to get to ride the bus for some time. Guess he's just ready to grow up on me.

Mike had his yearly check-up with his Oncologist yesterday. We know that when our Anniversary rolls around it's time to visit Dr. Hersman. He loves to see our expanding fam as do the Chemo nurses. They, of course, were not entirely surprised with our "exciting" pregnancy experience. By spending our wedding night in the ER, I guess we started a bit of a trend. I told them that I'm REALLY ready to have a boring life for a while. They laughed at that. Hmmm...apparently there's no such thing as 'boring' with two little boys.

So, back to our Anniversary -- we just celebrated our fifth! We've done a lot in five years: a major illness, new careers, buying a house, a few more ER trips, two pregnancies -- neither of which went without all sorts of surprises, not to mention lots and lots of good times. Anyway, I finally figured out why I had both of our boys five weeks early -- to score on the birthstones. Matthew's is Sapphire and Zachary's is the Diamond. Not bad, huh? And Mike REALLY scored big on the Anniversary gift this year giving me some jewelry that had both of their birthstones. Diamonds and Sapphires may sound a little dressy for playdates, but I don't care!

Oh, loyal readers of mine (i.e. my phenomenal family and friends), you don't cease to amaze me with your support. I shouldn't have hesitated so long in coming out with my tails of woe as a postpartumly-bummed mom of two. Since I decided to answer the "How are you?" question honestly, I've gotten nothing but love (except maybe from the grocery store clerk who would have preferred the anticipated "Fine, thank you"). And here's the thing, really I AM doing fine, and I know how blessed I am and how much worse things could be ('cuz honestly they aren't bad); I'm just not quite me. But I guess I'm also realizing that maybe I need to better figure out who 'Me' is.

I was telling the girls at Book Club last night [Hi! And I still think that we should allow a new member to join, and I'm willing to write an entire blog session on why, if need-be and it's not just because our new potential member is a friend of mine and she's great :) ] that a few years ago, a much wiser (and yes, older) friend asked me how old I was. When I told her 22 or 23 (whenever it was), she said, "Oh! So, you don't even really know who you are. You haven't reached that mid-to-late-twenties-read-Self-Help-books stage yet." Of course, I immediately got defensive: "Please! Like I would ever need to read Self-Help Books. I have a totally, clearly defined sense of self." Um, so now that I'm the ripe old age of 26...anyone know any good Self-Help books? I'm in the market for one.

Part of it, I know, is the whole struggle of the Mom thing. I wouldn't change it for the world, I'm so glad that I get to stay home with my kids, and it's what I've always wanted to do, so then why am I not better at it? Man, it's hard. And people always tell you 'being a Mom is the hardest job in the World' and 'it's harder to go from one to two kids than zero to one," but until you live it, you don't actually know what they're talking about. Now, I knew that I wouldn't be the fresh, all organic ingredients, home-made meals on the table every night kind. Or the slippers waiting for Mike at the door type either. And I can't tell you the last time that I ironed. I also know that I'll never sew a Halloween costume. But, still! And then we (Moms) have all this weird self-inflicted mom-guilt if we do make or take time for ourselves. Although, I am willing (sheepishly) to admit that I think I do a pretty good job of getting that me time. And Mike is certainly great at helping me get those much-needed breaks too. I just keep thinking about the Oprah a few years ago when Mom's were finally 'telling it like it is' -- how much nursing can hurt and how (as one woman put it) "no one told me that being a Mom would suck 80% of the time."

Matthew and Zachary are both supposedly napping right now which means that I automatically SHOULD turn into Productive-Mom (picture a cape clad Mom -- home-made, of course, with duster in one hand -- I don't even own one -- and cookbook in the other so that meal menus can be planned out weeks in advance...all the while folding the mountain of laundry with feet or the magical extra limbs that all super moms must grow). BUT instead of being Productive-Mom, I'm 'self-medicating' with a fudgesicle (sugar free, at least) and my blog. I was thinking that I'd even try to squeeze in some Pilates before I release Matthew from his anti-nap naptime. And maybe I'll even do some self-helping by researching self-help literature.

Better sign off before I'm completely out of my Me time!

It's been a LONG time. I don't know if anyone even reads this anymore, but in case you're still out there -- thanks for visiting! We're doing...well. For a while there I really thought that things were getting easier, we were out of the foggy haze that is the first couple of months with a newborn, Matthew seemed to be settling down and adjusted to his baby brother, and I felt like we were starting to establish a bit of a routine. All of those things are true, but I guess I've also realized that it's OK to admit that I'm not doing as well as I'd like. We're thriving and surviving and all, but deep down I just don't feel like myself. I'm sure it's hormonal, blahblahblah, I even talked to the doctor about postpartum depression, but I really don't want to go on a brain chemical-altering drug that I'd have to be on for six months to a year and can cause 'suicidal thoughts' when coming off of it. I'm not suicidal now, so why would I sign myself up for the potential?! The thing that's reassuring -- and yet scary -- is that now that I'm talking to friends and family about my struggle and I'm hearing the same thing. Basically, "Yeah, life with two...especially in the beginning...it IS that hard." Not really what I want to hear. I was hoping that there would be a magic happy pill to make things easier, but I guess I'm out of luck. So, in the meantime, I'm trying to do the things that help me feel like ME; that bring me back to the Essence of Jenny, the 'Jenessence', if you will -- read, talk to friends and family, and exercise (even if it still isn't running), and drink a cup of coffee with a dark chocolate kiss every morning. Chocolate really can cure all ailments.

Zachary has had his first solid food. Yes, typically you wait until about 4-6months, but he's just so darn advanced we thought, why wait? And what did we feed him you ask. A gnat! We were having a picnic dinner at our local park (they have live bands every Wednesday night through the Summer) and a little, tiny fruit fly started buzzing around. I thought that I had successfully swatted it away, then a moment later I look down and see a small black thing in the corner of Zach's mouth. He was already hungry, so every attempt I made with my finger to pull it out just caused the kiddo to smack his lips and move his tongue (thus propelling the poor, unsuspecting insect further back towards its inevidable demise). Zachary was thoroughly unfazed by the whole experience, so apparently he's not a vegetarian. I think now that he's gotten some extra fiber, we'll go ahead and wait a few months before we start him on tamer solids...like rice cereal.

New pictures at: http://mikenjennymartin.home.comcast.net and a new blog update yesterday!

Oh dear. You know it's been too long since I last blogged -- the website didn't automatically sign me in; I had to remember my password!

We, Martins are alive and well. Mike had all of last week off (got the 3rd and 4th and took vacation for the rest of it). On the 3rd, Mike and I had TWO weddings to go to. We really enjoyed our first night out (sans enfants) since December 28th, 2005. Hmm, that's a little sad. We've had beautiful weather, so we spent a lot of time outside going to the park, the beach, and playing in the sandbox. We also officially commenced Martin Family Fat Camp. The Couch to 5K training program is well underway (week one: complete). I am a little concerned though that my bed rest legs aren't quite ready. They seemed OK at the get-go, but the last couple of times that we've gone out for our walk-jogs I've been pretty sore the next day (especially my shins and knees which are the last places a runner wants injury). I guess I better slow down and run at Mike's pace. Ha! Right. Seeing as his legs are twice as long as mine, he usually runs in front of me a little bit. He claims this is so I can check out his rear. I told him it's like dangling cheese before the rat.

Matthew's favorite new game is Hide and Seek (which he calls "Hide and Secret.") In 'Hide and Secret' Matthew tells you where to hide, runs to his room to count (not always with numbers in the correct sequence), shouts "Here me come!" and then proceeds to be very pleased with himself when he finds you. My favorite version is when he tells me to hide in our bed. I always attempt to catch a couple Z's between his finding me, but he's pretty quick, that kid.
Zachary is enjoying life as a Martin boy. His favorite pastimes are: sleeping, eating, being held, swinging in the Graco "Swyngomatic", and watching big brother Matthew. He's still trying to master the art of smiling. When he does manage to pull back those now-chubby cheeks and flash those dimples it sure melts your heart. He's worth every minute that I laid in a bed.

Zachary had a good two-month check-up yesterday. He weighed in at a whopping 9 pounds 2 ounces. He's in the 5th percentile for weight (that's up from under the 3rd at his one month check-up) and he's 20 inches long putting him at 10-25% for height. He looked a bit jaundiced so in addition to his four shots, the poor kid also had to get blood drawn for a billiruben test. Thankfully, the results were fine -- he has a low amount of safe, breast-feeding related jaundice. So, an all together good check-up.

No time to write more...he's asking for attention.

Happy two months to Zachary today! I can't believe that he's already two months old. I also can't believe that last Friday marked seven weeks that I'd been home from the hospital. It's hard to compare the 'length' of the seven weeks that I'd been home to the seven weeks that I'd been in good 'ol rooms 645 and 644. The whole experience -- hospital stay and post-hospital life -- still seems strangely long, surreal and sort of out of body. I remember with Matthew the first couple of months being a bit of a blur, so I try to realize that I'm in that weird newborn baby transition blur time right now. I do feel that the last week or so has gotten better. Life seems to have settled down a little bit. Nursing is definitely going more smoothly, Matthew has been so good with Zach and has really mellowed out quite a bit, and sleep is pretty good. I'm surviving well without naps, though I wouldn't complain if I could still get them occasionally.

I've been taking the boys out for walks pretty much everyday in my beautiful jogging stroller. I'd say my relationship with the Dreamer Ditto is a bit like that of a man and his hot rod. I take a lot of pride in it and enjoy telling people how smoothly it drives and filling them in on it's special features (even if they really don't care). I even had a guy at the store comment on it and ask where I'd gotten it. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. It's been great walking so much and really the only time I still feel the impact of bedrest is when I squat or kneel. My knees definitely are still suffering the bedrest aftermath. But for the most part, I'm feeling good and can't wait to start running again. This Saturday, Mike and I will commence the 'Couch to 5K' training program together. Should be interesting!

I take Zach in for his two month check-up on Friday, so I'll have details then on his stats. (weight, height, where he falls on the growth chart, etc.). We know he's doing well since he's filling in his 0-3 month clothes nicely and is outgrowing his newborn-size diapers!

So, Project Fat Camp Jenny is underway. Man! All of my running weight-loss was very much undone by pregnancy-meets-bedrest-meets-bulk-up-baby-101. So, I'm back where I started. I've got a good 40 pounds to lose, people. We'll get there, it'll just be slow-going. It's hard to find time to make healthier food and to get my walks (hopefully soon runs) in, but I'm bound and determined, so hopefully I can start shedding all those protein shakes that the nurses were feeding me...I do kind of miss those though. They chocolatey and fairly tastey!

Zachary is growing in the opposite - fatten up - direction! He now weighs approximately 8 pounds and is definitely nursing better...still room for improvement in that area, but at least my Mastitis issues have gone away. Thank goodness. Zach gave Mike a very nice Father's Day present -- his first big on-purpose-non-gas-related smile. He also cooed for the first time later in the day. He's also given me the gift of being a good sleeper at night. We get to bed around 11:30 usually and sleep for about five straight hours before his next feed and then we usually get a couple more hours before we're up for the day. So, while it is interrupted sleep, I'm getting about seven hours which is way better than a lot of people get with young ones. Zachary achieves this incredible sleep by pretty much non-stop nursing from 5pm-11pm. Matthew did the exact same thing from a month-old on. It's apparently their way of making up for lost time in the womb. So, my evenings consist of sitting, nursing, getting about a fifteen minute break once he's been burped, and then starting all over again. I don't mind it though if it means we only get up once during the night.

Matthew has been such a good big brother. When Zachary starts crying he tells him, "It's OK, Zachy. It's OK. Mommy's coming," and gives him little pats on the head or tummy. His toddler-'tude has also mellowed down a bit (or we really have gotten better at dealing with it). He's also been using the potty more. We have a Potty Chart where we put his well-earned stickers and once he gets a certain amount he picks a surprise from the Potty Bag. The surprises are, you guessed it! Small trucks and cars!

I've been teaching a four week session of Little Ditties toddler music class which has been fun. Mike took last Friday off and got to attend class for the first time . After that we (the Martin fam) went to the movie theater and saw 'Cars'. Matthew, of course, loved it and has been talking about it nonstop. Zachary, on the other hand, most have been bored, 'cuz he slept through the whole thing.

Why is there a crazy lady working at the Peditrician's office? That just doesn't make sense to me. I brought Zachary in yesterday for a weigh-in and Hep-B vaccine. (He weighs 7.9 which is the least amount of weight gain he's had in a week yet, but that's probably due to my illness slowing things down). So, he gets his shot and as soon as he's done, I'm about to pick him up to comfort him (he's pretty much done crying by the time she's got the bandaid on him though), when the Crazy Lady picks him up and kisses him on the top of the head....???? OK, I know my baby is very kissable and all, especially the top of his head as it is the best location for a whiff of his natural 'eau de bebe', BUT first of all she's not family or friend, she's a crazy lady nurse, second of all...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING KISSING A BABY IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE, LET ALONE A PREEMIE? So, she does this kissing, I stand there shocked, and then she says, "I haven't held any babies yet today, so I shouldn't have too many germs." Um. Uh-huh. To which I responded, "I hope not as you just kissed my child," and reached out to take Zachary from Crazy Lady. So, the doctors and nurses always tell you to keep your infant -- especially Preemies -- from germs and from strangers' touch, but how do you keep them from Crazy Kissy Lady nurses in the doctors office?!

OK, so God just really likes to challenge me (because apparently I can handle it even if I don't want to). So things went from bad to worse and yesterday (Sunday), I had a temperature of 103.5. It's amazing what a difference a couple of degrees can make. 101.6 felt like I'd been run over by a semi, 103.5 felt like the semi decided, "Oh wait. No. I'm not quite done. Better back over her a few more times." Thankfully, that was the fever spike, as this morning I had no fever just the aftermath -- sore all over, dizzy, and fatigued. Anyway, I am on the mend and am so glad that those antibiotics finally kicked in. Now we just have to hope that Zachary and I can successfully nurse before it's time to wean.

Just when you think things can't get any harder, you get Mastitis (or at least I do). For those of you lucky enough to not know what Mastitis is, I'll educate: Mastitis is a horrible-bad terribleness caused by breastfeeding issues, and I have it. Symptoms include: a lot of soreness in the nursing regions (trying to keep it non-gorey here, people) accompanied by body achiness, a fever (101.6 for me), dizziness, headache, chills and then hot flashes, etc. So after a six week vacation, I was back on bedrest today as that's all I felt up to doing. Luckily I was able to get the on-call OB to phone in for antibiotics. Hopefully, they'll start working REALLY soon. My temperature's already down to 99, so I'm sure I'll be feeling even better tomorrow. Thank GOD that today was Saturday and that Mike was home to take care of all of us. I even felt too weak to hold Zachary to burp him. Matthew was also a REALLY good boy today -- like a different child! -- so that was helpful. He was looking out the window tonight and said, "Woah, it's pretty. Look at all those pretty houses." Zachary has been a good boy too -- eating, sleeping, doing tummy time, and being all around very cute.

Today was a musical day. I played my flute for the first time in months. I love that, while I am rusty, it's definitely like riding a bike -- especially my concert and competition pieces that I worked up so much in high school. I'm sure it would not be an easy task for me to conquer a new Concerto today, but the ones that I know come back fairly easily, and I love that!

So, I taught my first toddler Music class today (not first ever, just first in quite some time). I decided to teach a four week session because: a. I miss it, b. I was very bummed when I had to cancel the last session due to bedrest and c. we could use a little extra money with all of our incoming hospital bills. Since my decision, I've gone back and forth between being excited to teach again and asking myself, "what the heck were you thinking?!" It may only be a 45 minute class once a week for four weeks and that sounds very reasonable, but come on! Somedays it's an achievement just to get showered and dressed!

Anyway, class did go well despite having an interesting morning beforehand. I was attempting to nurse one child (which is not going very well) and trying to calm the other during a meltdown-tantrum; I do believe that at one point we were all in tears. Oye. But we got through and class was good. Zachary cooperated by sleeping through class upstairs in his crib and Matthew did...OK with sharing me.

Speaking of our eldest. In a fit of toddler rage a few days ago (whilst he should have been napping), Matthew ripped apart a picture book from the bookcase in his room. Now, this was not just any book and, I'm convinced, this was not just any random ripping. The book our son chose to demolish was 'Will You Still Love Me' [I don't have an underlining option for the book title]. This book tells the sweet story of polar bear Polo who is wondering if his parents will still love him when his new sibling is born. (Sorry to ruin the surprise ending for you, but yes, they will still love him). We got the book for Matthew for Christmas and it pretty much makes me cry every time I read it (along with 'Guess How Much I Love You' -- another tear-jerker classic). When Mike hesitantly told me what Matthew had done to the book, I exclaimed, "he hates us!" So, is this little man trying to send us a message?! Loud and clear. Is it time to call Dr. Phil, I ask unto you?! :)

Zachary is a whopping 7lbs.4oz! Look out, Sumo baby! I was anxious to see how much he weighed today since we've been pretty much nursing all feeds for the last six days. Looks like he's eating and gaining just fine. (7lbs.3oz. was the minimum goal weight for today). Nursing has been getting a little bit easier though we're still having some issues (I'll spare you the gorey details). It's frustrating but I know it'll get better. Just seems a bit cruel that after you go through pregnancy and then childbirth you still have to go through the pain and frustration of figuring out nursing, which is not necessarily the instinctual process you think it might be. Oh well, such is life. Moving on...Matthew has been getting a bit more back into his mellow marvelous self (either that or we're just getting better at handling the tantrum-meltdown Matthew). He's still recovering from my whole hospital bedrest stay and gets very upset every time I leave. I went for a walk the other day and could hear him crying through the open windows three houses away. Sorry, neighbors.

By the way, be sure to visit our website http://mikenjennymartin.home.comcast.net Mike will get new pictures up tonight or tomorrow.

I caught my boys having a very sweet moment today. Zachary was down on the quilt for tummy time and Matthew had joined him (as he often does). Matthew was softly rubbing Zachary's head and whispering, "I love you, Zachary. Love you," and then kissed him on the top of the head. Life just doesn't get any better than that.

I wish to share a cute anecdote with you all. Here goes:

So, the other day we had a thunder and lightning storm. Matthew was a little freaked out, so without thinking I told him what my Mom used to tell me when I was little which was that the thunder was just the angels bowling up in heaven. (Yes, I'm Therese and can't even help myself. Slowly, but also freakishly fast at the same time, I am turning into Therese! OK, it's not a terrible thing. FYI, 'Crashing their garbage can lids' is also another good answer to the thunder question). Anyway, Matthew spent all afternoon asking questions about the angels "booming" [the thunder]. At one point he was looking out the window at the pouring rain (or so I thought), I asked him if he was watching the rain and he said no, he was watching the angels flying. Huh. I said, "but we can't really see the angels, right?" To which he responded, "Nope they're too far away." And then he asked where they were, and I said they were up in heaven with God. Then later in the day he asked where they were again, I repeated the afore-mentioned answer. And then he said "Where's Jesus?" (I gave the same answer) and then he said, "Where's Rachel?" [Rachel being my best friend from childhood and one of Matthew's absolute FAVORITE play-buddies.] "Uh...Rachel's at work, I think" [at a State Park]. Then Matthew said, "with Jesus?" So, MY question for you is: Is Jesus a park ranger up in Bellingham and we just don't know it?!

Happy my Due Date to one and all! So, now that Zachary can 'officially' be here maybe we'll start taking care of him and feeding him and stuff. Right. I celebrated my due date today by bringing little Zach back to the 6th floor to visit my amazing Labor and Delivery nurses. Those gals really were like family to me for seven weeks and while I don't miss rooms 645 or 644 I definitely miss them. They're like chicken soup for my soul -- phenomenal women -- and it was so great to see them. I thought it was very fitting that I spend some time on the L & D floor with my nurses on my due date! They were thrilled to see Zachary and how much he's changed since he came home with us a month ago. In four weeks he's gone from 4lbs.12oz to about 7 pounds. It doesn't sound like much but when you're that little, every ounce counts!