I have lots of nicknames for Mike, but now I must add 'umbrella' to the list. You know how if you have an umbrella it won't rain? Well, Mike is my umbrella. He stayed over last night just in case things happened, and wouldn't you know, we had our first quiet, uneventful night in a few nights. I didn't contract too much and Zachary was a very good boy -- he only had one brief dip in his heartrate which is fairly normal. So, apparently he behaves when Daddy's here.

Dr. Anton did an ultrasound this morning to check my amniotic fluid level (looks good) and the umbilical cord (also good). It has been decided that if I'm still pregnant on Monday, May 1st (in five days!), we'll have an Amniocentisis to see if Zach's lungs are mature. If they are, then we'll induce labor on Tuesday, May 2nd!! Normally at 35 weeks they'd just go ahead and send me home, but since I have such a high likelihood of delivering soon anyway, they don't want to send me home and then have me deliver in the car, etc. Not to mention, it'd be pretty lame to give up my luxury suite here and then come back only to discover that there's no room at the inn, and I have to be in some extra, ghetto shared-labor room next to a howler monkey woman. These things worry me, you see.

One of my nurses (really, I like to refer to them now as my P.A.'s -- Personal Assistants), so anyway, one of my lovely P.A.'s and I were discussing the whole epidural situation. We feel that there should be some added bonuses that come with the feeling of complete numbess from the waist down. For example, they really should offer complimentary leg and bikini waxing while they're down there. Seeing as you can't experience pain at that point, they might as well be productive for you! Also, during a C-Section...I'm thinking tummy-tuck while they're at it!

I get to have my first wheelchair excursion in almost two weeks today. It's even sunny for the event!

I've said it before and I'll probably say it again -- I feel like a ticking time bomb! It really just feels like every night that we get through I think...OK, is today the day? We had another interesting night. Zachary did more misbehaving causing several nurses to come in and out a few times to move the monitor to try to pick up the dippy-doos (I've been told this is a technical term as most nurses use it!) in his heartrate. Dr. Anton decided this morning that at this point, we should just stop one of my oral meds -- Niphetipine -- that lowers blood pressure (in addition to supposedly slowing contractions). So, all I'm on is the oral Turb and if that doesn't hold they might not even try to stop things with the emergency Turb shots anymore. Needless-to-say that with the way Zach's been showing occasional, moderate signs of unhappiness and rebellion and the fact that we're weaning off drugs, I feel like things could happen at anytime. We're all feeling this so much, that Matthew's just going to go ahead and spend the night with my parents...at least for the next couple nights lest things take place in the middle of the night. Mike's going to crash here for the next few nights as well. It just seems like things really pick up at night, and while I don't want to feel like the 'never cry wolf boy' I would rather have Mike here if/when things happen especially if they have to happen fast.

Even my blogging habits have changed! I now try to post in the morning since I don't know what the rest of the day will bring. Once your blogging habits change, you know things are different!

We're still baking the bun in the oven here. It is interesting. Now that I'm off the heavy meds I feel a bit like a ticking time bomb and everytime things start to pick up I get all excited/panic-y...is this it? Is it time? Do I call Mike yet? etc.

Last night was kind of unique. We kept Zachary on the monitor all night, and I woke up at 6am to three nurses running in here adjusting the monitor to see if it had moved and was picking up my heart-rate or if Zach's heart really had slowed that much. Turns out it was him, and he did it a few more times this morning. He'd had two bigger dips back to back and my nurse said if he'd continued and had a few more I would've been wisked off to a c-section to get him out of there. A little scary, but so far things seem to be looking better. They'll just be watching him a lot more (probably around the clock) and watching to see if it's getting to the point where he's just not handling things well...at which point, though it's still fairly early, it'd be better out than in. It's strange to think that if I were having a normal pregnancy this stuff would be going on without us knowing about it. It's comforting to know that I'm exactly where I need to be
-- especially should things happen fast, I'm already here!

Well, Zachary won't have an April 24th birthday. I was starting to get a bit anxious...for 45 minutes this afternoon I had contractions every 2-3 minutes, but thankfully the Turb shot and pill did slow things down. I'm definitely crampy and will most likely get Turb shots regularly (at most every four hours) until we just reach a point where they no longer work.

I got to see Matthew tonight!!!! He was apparently VERY excited to come see me and was pulling on the door handle way before Mom and Dad were ready to leave. Once he was here he was busy seeing the trucks 0n-hand, but as soon as we started talking about going home for bedtime, he begged to lie down on the bed with me. He said he wants me to come home! Thank goodness, I'm no longer on the Mag juice or I would've been a weeping fool. It will be SO good once I do get to go home, that's for sure!

Yea for today! The day started with an interesting horizontal hairwash in a bedpan (a never-used one, or so I was told). In a serious effort to counteract the damage of perma-bedhair, we managed to give my 'do' a new bed-do (it doesn't take long for that hair to moosh back down, but at least it's clean!) And then as if clean hair wasn't exciting enough, we had a great ultrasound -- Zachary is weighing in at approximately 5lbs.9oz!!! That's just two ounces smaller than Matthew (which is still a week away from our current gestational age). Zach is still just above average for size and looks really great. There was a chance today that Dr. Walker was going to do an Amniocentisis to check for infection, but my white blood cell count looked good as did the tenderness of my tummy, so he didn't think it was worth it. I've been taken off the Magnesium Solfate -- woohoo!!!!, have been told that I can walk to and from the bathroom again -- yippee!, and have been put back on the oral meds -- yea! They kept the IV line in 'just in case' things pick up in the next 24 hours. That way I'll be all set for an epidural. I really don't see why I can't just get one now!! Just kidding...but kind of not. There's a fairly good chance that nature will run its course now that the heavier duty drugs have been stopped. At this point, I'll be given a Turb shot when things start to pick up but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Dr. Walker said there's no proof that the Magnesium after 34 weeks does anything to stop labor...it really just messes up the Mom. So, here we are. Pretty much in the waiting game. We'll be sure to keep you posted of any major develoments!

All of us here on Team Incubate Zachary seem to be feeling like his arrival is going to be sooner rather than later. It really is a team effort though -- family, friends, my parents, Mike and Matthew and the doctors and nurses are all doing there best to buy us more time, but activity is definitely picking up. It's still amazing that we've gotten to 34 weeks! I've been in the hospital for exactly six weeks!

Last night I had to get a Turbutaline shot to try to slow things down and another this morning. Last night's contractions were pretty strong, and I started to wonder, OK at what point is it time to call my parents to watch Matthew and for Mike to come and be with me. I suppose when it's really time, we'll really know. It seems though that my body's just not responding to the drugs like it used to. I think we're all starting to ask ourselves : at what point do we just give in and let nature take its course or will it still do that even while we try to slow it down with meds. My white blood cell count has been slowly getting higher -- which is what happened through my whole pregnancy leading up to my water breaking with Matthew. So, they have me on antibotics in the IV to try to slow down any infection. I'm defnitely full of fluid. I've gained around 5-7 pounds since they put me back on the Mag six days ago, and my face is starting to get a little puffy with fluid. I'm still 'outputting' enough fluid that they're not concerned about Magnesium Toxicity though, but I'm defnitely looking and feeling like a Mag patient.

I'm sad to report my latest ailment -- my HAIR hurts. My hair has been so perma-bed-head-smashed into the same position for so long that it PHYSICALLY hurts to try to get it to lay flat in the opposite direction. I never thought I would have hair pain. Ahh, woah is me. Just when you thought things couldn't possibly get worse...! :)

Well, yesterday the on-call OB came by and said I looked really great -- that I obviously handled being on the Mag really well. Today when he came in he said, "Woah, you definitely look more like a Mag patient now. What happened?" Good to know that I look as bad as I feel! I definitely feel 'Mag-ed out'. I can't get my eyes to focus entirely, and I can't open them all the way either. I'm really hoping that I'll be coming off of this on Monday! I think I'll just wait to see Matthew until then too. He's still very congested and while I'm sure he's no longer contagious, I think it'd be best to avoid him having to see me like this if we can help it. I don't want him learning to say, "Mommy's on drugs!" I did get to see Mike tonight while Matthew went to play at Grandma and Grandad's house for a little while.

I've said before that we've been so blessed with all the help and support we've received from friends and family, and that certainly hasn't worn down while this ordeal has dragged on. Yesterday afternoon, Mike called to say that there was a lawn crew out cutting our grass! Turns out our next door neighbors sent them over to help us out. It was absolutely a PERFECT gesture to help us right now -- cutting the grass was just another thing on Mike's list to do when he has a couple of spare hours. So, that was SUCH a blessing!

34 weeks tomorrow!!

Yea for a currently-working internet connection! Here are the updates:

Matthew still has a bad cold, so it's now been FIVE days since I've seen him. He does at least talk to me on the phone, though his 'Hi Mommy' sounds like ' Hi Bobby' due to his congestion. Mike has had to miss a fair amount of work this week staying home with Matthew but still managed to give a well-received presentation at work on Wednesday. The man is phenomenal.

Last night was a rough one. I woke up to a woman screaming like she was being murdered. I thought 'Oh great! This'll be a long one.' Turns out she was only having an IV put in. My goodness! If that's how she handles an IV start I DO NOT want to be around while she has the baby. I ended up staying awake much of the night with bad contractions...things seem to be picking up a bit. They increased my IV Mag dosage this morning. At one point, I'd had nine contractions in 45 minutes. I've still been fairly crampy throughout the day even with the extra loopy drugs. Could be a sign that my body's starting to fight the drugs and tell us that maybe we've done all we can to slow things down. We'll see. But I do feel confident that if things do happen soon, we've really had a lot of success with 'Project Incubate Zachary' thus far. We're almost to 34 weeks. Matthew was born at 35 weeks, and although he had to do two weeks in the NICU obviously turned out perfectly! At least Zach has received three doses of steroid for his lung development, so we might be able to less NICU time. Regardless though, all would be well in the long run!

My penpal/former hospital neighbor had her baby! She made it to 37 weeks after 12 weeks on bedrest (including 8 in the hospital!). They had a totally healthy boy weighing in at 6lbs.7oz. It was great to get to see her upright and to meet their little guy. I guess there is life after bedrest.

I'm dictating this to Mike over the phone since my internet connection didn't work at all today. I'm still here! The plan is to keep me on the Magnesium IV until Monday at which point they will put me back on the oral meds. Matthew still has a bad cold and I haven't seen him since Sunday, which is the longest I have ever been away from him. Hopefully we will all be feeling better and reunited soon.

Still here! Still on the IV and super strict bedrest. I'm not even supposed to sit up for meals or laptopping right now (so I'm doing this in a rather uncomfortable, reclined position). Matthew is still working on a bad cold, so unfortunately he'll have to stay away again. I haven't seen him since Sunday which is hard though perhaps for the best since I'm still not feeling great myself. At least he does occasionally talk to me on the phone. Yesterday, I asked him what he and and Daddy were going to do and he said, "Watch Finding Nemo." With his cold it sounded like, "Watch Finding Debo." Mike is doing such an incredible job of balancing work, being a single Dad and visiting me at the hospital right now. I always knew he was amazing but Man!...What a man! We’re also SO blessed that my parents are here, healthy and able to help out with Matthew. Quite frankly, I think they enjoy all the extra time with the kid! And it’s certainly nice to know that he’s in such good hands. Other than having a very selfish uterus, I think I turned out fairly OK after all!

I'm hanging in there. Today was pretty rough -- the Magnesium IV makes me feel lame...headache, lightheaded, a bit nauseous, not to mention the emotions of all of this sudden change finally kicking in. But good news! We had an ultrasound this morning and it looks like the pep talks worked -- Zachary's feet are currently out of the way. I also graduated from the bedpan to a potty chair next to the bed...what a big girl I am; I get my very own potty chair! So, that's a major improvement to my quality of life here.

Matthew's still working on a bad cold, so it was probably for the best that Mike wasn't going to bring him to see me today. Unfortunately, I think we're back to the 'scary mommy' stage. He's used to the hospital now, but I've got tubes in my arm again, so that'll probably set us back a bit.

One more victory day! I'm 33 weeks and 2 days and counting...

What a difference a few hours can make! Just this morning I blogged about how well things were going and that I was worried they might boot me outta here early...well, don't have to worry about that any more!

My ultrasound showed that my cervix is only a centimeter long and that I'm already dilated two centimeters. During the ultrasound I had my first big contraction in a few days (I've had them but not big ones), showing that things are definitely more 'precarious' than we'd thought. Dr. Walker predicted (always the optimist) that my water will break in the next 2-5 days. He also checked to be sure that Zachary is head-down, which he is. Unfortunately he also has his feet down by his head, so if those don't move out of the way and my water breaks, I'll have to have a C-Section. Let's pray this kiddo moves his feet up!

Not at all what I was expecting to hear today. Within a couple of hours after Dr. Walker left, I had my first shot of Turb in several days and for the first time in weeks it didn't work to slow things down. SO....I'm back on the IV of Magnesium, I got another shot of Betamethasone (steroid shot for Zachary's lungs), and perhaps lamest of all, I'm not allowed out of bed for at least the next 24 hours...yes, that's right, NOT AT ALL. So, it's the fun of the bedpan for me.

Truly amazing how drastically and quickly things changed here for me! It's a darn good thing they hadn't sent me home early, that's for sure!

Happy Easter, yesterday! Hope you had a good one. We had a great Easter dinner and celebration here. Definitely an Easter we'll never forget! We were also celebrating five full weeks here and 33 weeks of pregnancy!

Last night after our celebrations, Mike and I had a date night of which the highlight was my first walk outside the room! We walked (slowly and carefully) all the way past the nurse's station to the snack pantry and back. I'm starting to worry though that by getting up on my feet more the nurses will start telling me to 'Fill your own water bottle, you lazy bum!' There goes my room service. No, it'll be a while before I can do it all. Just that brief walk was enough to tire me out!

All this freedom has even brainwashed Dr. Anton! She said today that if my cervix ultrasound shows that things are very stable, maybe I could go home this week instead of waiting until next Monday. Now, that's just plain crazy talk! It's not that I don't want to go home, it's just that I've mentally prepared for so long that I wouldn't head home until 34 weeks. I'm sure if things really are stable, it'll be fine, but it's still a little nerve-wracking. There's still the worry that if contractions really pick up once I'm home, the oral meds won't slow them down the way a shot would. I think Mike'll want to leave with a stash of them. He's also confirmed my fears that once home, I won't get clean sheets everyday like I do here. Man! There's also no little button to push for my snacking (and non-snacking) needs at home. I think the cooler stocked with food next to the bed will be the compromise!

Can you believe I've been here for five full weeks and JUST got around to watching 'The Price is Right' this morning?! Hello! What have I been doing with my time?

I'll have my ultrasound today or tomorrow...I'll keep you posted, as always.

Random thought for the day: Hospital towels are like sandpaper, but they do serve the purpose of exfoliating your skin whilst you dry off.

I had an ultrasound this morning...on my leg. My left leg started to hurt yesterday afternoon (behind my knee-ish). It feels a little bit like a pulled muscle, but I don't see how that's possible seeing as I have no muscle left. Dr. Anton wanted to be sure that it isn't a blood clot, and luckily it isn’t. However, Dr. Anton does want me to start moving around a little bit more to help with circulation. She even said I should walk a bit everyday – for fifteen minutes! That’s huge! I still have at least two ultrasounds before they’ll think about sending me home, so if being upright changes things too much, they’ll reel me back in. They’ve also decided that I don’t need to be on the contraction monitor all the time. I know when I’m contracting, so if things pick up, I’ll be put back on to watch the pattern and see if I need a shot. The idea is to start weaning me off hospital life for this last week in the hospital, that way when I do go home it won’t be too scary to be machine-less.

Upon returning to my humble abode from my ultrasound, I discovered the fam in the act of Easter-decorating my room -- complete with a pair of bunny ears on my pillow. Matthew said, “Rabbit Mommy!” when he saw me in them for our Easter Egg dyeing party. Somehow we successfully managed to keep more dye on the eggs than on Matthew!

Last night was a rough one. I had a new neighbor move in next door – she was admitted in the late evening and apparently had to move the family in too. They have a toddler who, I would imagine, is around two years old. I guess they don’t have any family around or friends that they could call, so they had to bring little kiddo with them while Mom came in for preterm labor. Anyway, as I know, it’s hard enough (especially in the beginning) to have a toddler here when they’re awake and not cranky. So, needless-to-say for this little person to be pulled from his/her bed and taken to a scary hospital room where things are being done to his/her mother would obviously be upsetting. Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep. And I’m sure they got even less next door and I do feel for them, but in the middle of the night, my perspective wasn’t quite as caring or clear. My main concern was: is this a long term neighbor and is the whole family moving in forever?! I do really feel bad for them, but I live here!! Anywhoo, my nurse ended up bringing me an Ambien at 3am and a fan to put on for some sound-muffling action. The fan really added to my room’s reputation as ‘The Ice Box’. Zachary, the bun in the oven, works as my own personal heater, you see.

Despite the rough night, I had a good day today. I had a massage this morning, then lunch and a movie matinee with Mike and Matthew, followed by a lovely visit from Mo (best friend from high school). The afternoon concluded with a wheelchair outing with Mom and Dad. Dad did a decent job of not running me into too many walls! J

As we know, I’ve been on the bulk-up-baby diet since I arrived at this fat farm, and it is proving to be a smashing success. I have proof to back up this claim. I’ve had a few nurses stop by to visit (ones that I haven’t seen in a couple weeks), and they always go on and on about how “great” I’m looking. Of course their declaration of my ‘greatness’ comes accompanied by statements such as: “You’re really blossoming!” “You’re looking so robust!” And my personal favorite: “You’ve sure put on weight – it especially shows in your face.” Yes, just where EVERY woman wants to be putting on weight. Great. Oh well, I’m taking one for the team – Team Zachary! It’ll be very exciting to get to use my new dream double jogging stroller this summer to try lose the weight (apparently in my chin and cheeks first!). Since I’ll hopefully be going home for bedrest in nine-ish days, maybe we should get the double stroller soon so Mike can take Matthew and ME out for a ride!

I have recently started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Up until this week, I've been too busy just trying to survive the present. Now that I only have approximately another week and half here, and then two-ish weeks of bedrest at home, the end is in sight. After six weeks of bedrest in the hospital, what's a couple more at home?! When all is said and done, if Zachary doesn't come earlier than 36 weeks, I will have put in nine weeks of bedrest. That's two months and one week of perma-bed hair. 63 days of being horizontal. 1,512 hours of lying around while muscles atrophy, I eat and gain weight...lots and lots of weight. What a pretty picture I paint, indeed.

HOWEVER, it does sound like post-bedrest could be worse than the bedrest itself. Could the worst really be yet to come? Yesterday, the physical therapist came by to discuss life after bedrest with me. Once I’m given the go-ahead to join the upright Homo sapien world, the transition most certainly will not be immediate or easy. The P.T. told me that for most women, recovery from bedrest takes as long as the bedrest itself – that’d be nine weeks, people. Or (even more uplifting), in many cases, it takes two days for everyday that a woman was on bedrest. I could do the math (with the help of a calculator) to tell you how long that would be, but I’d really rather not. Of course, this is worst case scenario, and hopefully it won’t be my scenario, but it’s a bit daunting all the same. Especially when you consider that my very slow return to being vertical and walking on shakey legs will be whilst I recover postpartumly (yes, I’m making that a word), look after an active toddler and an infant all the while suffering the wrath of sleep deprivation.

While this is all very bleak and pessimistic, I really do like to prepare for the worst case scenario, that way, whatever happens – even if it’s really hard – is better than what you expected!

So, I guess running a half or full marathon this summer is out of the question, huh? Walking around the block will be accomplishment enough!

I had a pretty dizzy day -- a lot of lightheadedness when I get up, which sadly is probably just the fun of long-term bedrest setting in. So, no outing in the wheelchair for me today as just sitting up made me quite whoozy. I'm hoping to get out tomorrow though. Mike will be here working on his laptop, so it'd be great to get to head out of the room together for fifteen minutes of freedom.

So, a brief anecdote for you: Alright, so I wear the contraction monitor all the time, and it's constantly recording a graph on to a long strip of paper. The strip has eight hours worth of recording time. There is always a little squiggly line on the paper except when I get up to use the restroom when I unplug myself from the machinery. So, I had a night nurse come on at 11ish one night who was really studying my graph. There was a large gap in the line when I'd gotten up to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and get ready for bed. Anyway, she was intently investigating my strip, and then she asks me all accusingly, "Where were you right here?!" Um, hello. Where could I go?? I hardly have the strength to walk across the room. Did she think that I'd high-tailed it out of here and had gone out dancing or something? I don't get to go anywhere but the bathroom. Is nothing sacred? No, there are no secrets here.

What I really enjoy is if I'm leaving someone a message I automatically say something like, 'So call me back when you have a chance. I should be around. HA! 'Cuz where else would I be?! I'm not allowed to go anywhere!' True, I don't get out much, but we still have the problem, people, that everything seems to happen at once. I'll get a visitor, then phone calls, nurses, doctors, everybody, everything happens at once, and then a little bit later it'll be nothing but me and a book or a Sudoku puzzle! We've gotta figure out a way to spread out the love, people, but hey, I'll take it whenever I can get it. Thanks for it!

What a day! And unlike yesterday, today was a really good one! The highlight of the morning was getting to go on my 15 minute field trip to the outside hospital patio area. It was the first time I've experienced fresh air in 32 days!!! It was magnificent. I felt pretty wiped afterwards though. Being vertical for fifteen minutes to shower and then fifteen minutes sitting upright in the wheelchair was enough to tire out this horizontal mama!

After lunch, I had my ultrasound. Mom was here and got to see Zachary moving around and waving to the 'camera'. It was pretty incredible. For a while Zach had his hands up by his face, then he brought his foot up to his face and was practically sucking his big toe! Dr. Rutherford was trying to get a good picture to print off for Mom to keep and went in for a close up of his face. We were looking directly at him, and he opened his eyes and looked right back at us! It was very neat. Dr. Rutherford was able to print off a really great picture for Mom to keep.

The ultrasound, other than being amusing, also showed us good news. Zach's umbilical cord was draped over his shoulder and then bunched up in front of his face, so it's not around his neck. Most likely the dips in his monitored heart rate are due to him playing with the cord. Apparently sometimes if babies get a good hold of it, they even put it in their mouths and gnaw on it -- luckily they don't have teeth yet! The other good news is that my cervix was very stable again today -- not much change between resting and pressure measurements. So, bedrest is paying off (GOOD! 'cuz it's hard work!), but Dr. Rutherford did say that fifteen minutes in the wheelchair was a great idea and that we could gradually increase my time to help me get reacquainted with being upright.

The rest of the day was filled with WONDERFUL friends visiting! The nurses were also very fun tonight. I'm -- for the first time ever and for not very long -- the only patient in the labor and delivery wing. So, the nurses have all been in and out and to analyze American Idol. If they have so much time on their hands I don't see why they aren't all in here to give me massages, etc. Either that or we should pop some popcorn and have ourselves a chic flic party! Or maybe have wheelchair races in the hall. Hmmm...the possibilities are endless!

Oye. What a day! Today was a bit of a rollercoaster. I had a FUN wake-up call at 6am -- a shot of Terbutaline in my arm. A couple hours after the shot, contractions started picking up again so I got my Terbutaline pill early. Then we put Zachary on the monitor and he, like big brother Matthew, tends to be a late sleeper in the AM, so he wasn't responding quite the way they wanted him to...didn't have the heart accerlerations that they're required to see every session of monitoring. It was determined that we would do another monitoring in the afternoon. I got up to take my shower and probably from a combination of my Niphetipine (that lowers blood pressure) and being on my feet for too long, I suddenly felt very nauseous, dizzy, and light-headed. So, after freaking out my nurse for a bit, that aspect of the day settled down. We also spent all morning waiting to find out if I'd have my scheduled ultrasound...and once again found out that it won't happen until Tuesday.

The afternoon was an unexpected show of pregnancy waterworks (meaning tears). Funny how sometimes the floodgates just open and I can't get them shut and I wonder what's wrong with me. Then I remember, ahhh, yes, I am Jenny AND I am pregnant. Right.

We did quite a bit more of monitoring Zach in the evening. Dr. Anton came by to do a very quick and basic ultrasound to make sure that there was enough amniotic fluid for him, and that he didn't have the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Matthew and Mike were here during the ultrasound and Matthew seemed to think it was pretty cool that 'Zach on TV!' Everything looked fine with the littlest Martin boy. Dr. Anton thinks that the dips in his chart were probably him grabbing the umbilical cord and then realizing 'Doh! I don't like that! Better let go!' Another Martin genius.

The really big news is that Dr. Anton gave the a-OK for me to get a 15 minute ride in a wheelchair everyday. I can even go outside for fresh air! Fresh air? What is that? I don't remember, but I'll find out tomorrow morning when I venture out beyond these walls!

Lie vs. Lay. It is, in my opinion, one of the most commonly confused rules of grammar out there. I have always prided myself on my grammatical skills; I know when to use 'good' and when to use 'well' and I do so accordingly. However, when it comes to the enigma that is lie vs. lay, I, like the rest of the masses, am a bit befuddled. Since I am currently using this verb most frequently, I felt it important to educate myself in order to speak in a grammatically correct fashion and to share my new-found knowledge with you...lucky you. I had some help in doing research on the subject -- actually, I did none, just asked my friend Kate, a high school English teacher, to clarify. And here is the conclusion: Most of us want to say that I am laying in a bed. That I have lain in a hospital bed for one month. That is partially true. I HAVE lain in a hospital bed for, to be specific, 29 days. However, I am currently lying. No, I AM telling the truth; I am not lying about my lying. See how this is confusing? I lie in a bed around the clock. I am in the habit of lying and by that I don't me that I am not a constant fibber, I mean that I am prone to being horizontal.

Today marks the conclusion of my 32nd week of pregnancy -- a huge milestone for preemie development! And I ain't lyin'. Though I am lying.