Last week in review

Zach stayed home from school yesterday with an “ookie tummy.”  I’m sure this is an official diagnosis.  The real bummer is it was storybook character dress-up day for “Read Across America” week.  Zachary was SUPER pumped to get to wear his Ninja costume to school, AND we were going to have three boys from our neighborhood (a 3^rd grader and his twin 1^st grade brothers) over for a playdate in the afternoon.  Had to reschedule that!

 

Last week was mid-winter break.  While I was a little jealous to hear about all the wonderful places some people would be traveling to (Mexico, Hawaii, Disneyland – to name a few), I must say that we had a really nice, relaxing break.  The boys – with our encouragement – have given up TV, computers, etc. from Thursdays-Sundays during Lent.  (That way we can still do family movie night on Fridays and they get a little time to play the Wii or on the computer on Saturdays).  So, we went into break screenless.  This seemed daunting even to me at first, but it ended up being wonderful!  The boys – after adjusting to the concept of some serious quality time together – played awesomely pretty much all week.  They built extravagant pillow-couch cushion forts and had all sorts of creative “set-ups” with their Legos, toys, etc. . 

 

On Wednesday, the kiddos and I went to the zoo where we waited in line for 40 minutes to see the three month old lion cubs.  Kayli called them “Roar babies” and hasn’t stopped talking about the one that went “Ka-boom.” (He fell off a low branch he was trying to climb…which caused everyone in the viewing area to giggle and ooh and ahh over his animal baby cuteness).  Thankfully the boys agreed that it was worth the 40 minute wait in the cold drizzle!

 

We had a couple of fun playdates on Thursday and Friday.  Then Saturday, it was all work and no play.  Mom, Dad, and Chris came over at 10am loaded up with yardwork tools and equiptment.  ALL of us (kids included) worked out in the backyard trying to tame some of the overgrown ravine.  Mike and my dad dug up a maple tree that had been planted WAY too close to the house and deck.  It was transplanted down in the ravine where we hope it won’t drown (it’s fairly near the little creek at the bottom).  My mom worked at chopping down a big overgrown hazelnut tree/bush/growie thing.  Go moom!  I did whatever people told me to do, and also dug up a bunch of ferns from the woods (where I found two piles of coyote poop!) and planted them along the edge of the yard.  The boys attempted teamwork sawing up branches – that was not very successful.  Kayliana moved piles of dirt from one random spot to the next, got completely filthy and had a ball!  She’s definitely more outdoorsy than the boys combined!  I’m super excited about getting the back cleaned up a bit and hope to put in this summer – where the maple tree had been – a small flagstone patio and brick firepit. 

 

In other news: Zachary has started playing basketball for the first time and L-O-V-E-S it!  He’s on a team with five boys and for coaches has two of the possibly nerdiest, most non-basketball-playing dads I’ve ever seen.  (For example: at the first practice, one of the dads pulled out a print-out that basically was the “how to’s of coaching a kids basketball team.”) Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice that they volunteered to coach, but, wow.  They lack leadership experience, knowledge and, forgive me, but any personality!  I think three-toed-sloths are more entertaining and could coach better.  I know you really shouldn’t complain (though I totally am) since WE’RE not stepping up to help out.  But, for reals, you should see these guys!

 

Anyway, our first game was a bit of a disaster.  Like with most kids’ sports, they don’t technically ‘keep score.’  But this game was pretty obvious.  Our team – “Thunder” – shot two baskets total.  The other team probably had, mmm, 20+.  This week (our second game), Zachary was the first one with the ball.  He dribbled (mostly, with only occasional traveling and double-dribbling) all the way down the court and seamlessly scored his first ever (during a game) basket.  It was awesome!!  Right after the basket, the refs blew the whistle and announced that we’d have to start the game over after the other team took a quick break to take their team photo.  Yeeeah.  Kids’ sports for ya. 

 

The games are played three-on-three with the coaches basically standing in the middle of the court telling the boys what to do.  Well, unfortunately one of our players had broken his arm over the weekend so he’s on the DL.  We didn’t have as many kids to start with as the other teams, so we don’t usually have a sub for the every five minute sub-out time.  Zachary had already played for two “quarters” and was limping over to us.  (He said his foot just tweaked and felt weird – it only lasted a couple minutes, thankfully.  But he limped for the last minute before the whistle).   Zach hobbled over and sat down to drink some water.  One of the dads on our team went and asked the coach if HIS kid could sub out instead of Zach because HIS kid had already played two quarters (same as Zachary) and HIS kid really needed a break.  Um, OK.  Zachary, tired, but happy enough returned to the game.  It is REALLY fun to see how much he loves it!  Hopefully, Matthew will feel the same about baseball when that starts back up in a month!  In the meantime, Kayli serves as cheerleader and (literally) yelled at Zach, “Block your guy!!”



 

Kayli -- rocking the dress my mom made for me and that I wore circa 1982

 

                                                                     Roar baby!

  

 

Yard workers

 

Just chillin'

 

Future NBA star



Lenten Slacker vs. Lenten Rockstar

Crud.  I posted this (or thought I had) on Feb. 15th but it's not showing up (at least for me).  So, bummer.  Here 'tis:

It’s funny how some years I totally rock Lent and then others I’m a Lenten failure.  Last year, I was an EPIC Lenten failure.  I’ll blame the house situation – which is kind of a valid excuse for stress in this normal humanoid world in which we live but really shouldn’t actually impact my Lenten-spiritual journey at all.  We were getting the house ready to sell and then had it on the market for all of Lent.  It was totally stressful.  I couldn’t plan meals because I didn’t know if we’d be able to be home for dinner.  We’d get a call at 4:30pm saying they wanted to do a showing at 5:30 – and there went our evening.  I’m SO thankful that those crazy days are over. 

 

Last year, I knew, due to my stress level that attempting to give up say my top food/beverage vices: coffee, wine or chocolate would be a total joke.  I DID end up giving up Diet Pepsi but allowing myself one a week.  See, that’s how I’ve done Lent pretty much my whole life – just SORTA.  Sorta giving something up but then finding a way to basically cheat – a built-in excuse to indulge in whatever activity/food/beverage of which I’m supposedly fasting.  Cheater cheater dark chocolate eater.  I even told our priest at the time that I’d finally learned that the idea of me giving up chocolate is a joke.  God doesn’t want me to be a hater and, let’s face it, I’m just not pleasant to be around sans chocolate. Then there’s the whole “Sundays don’t technically HAVE to count during Lent…” During my chocolate-give-up days, this meant Sundays = chocolate-fest pig out days.  I’m AWESOME at finding the Lenten loopholes.

 

So instead of making a major sacrifice, I did the Diet Pepsi thing and also decided that I would DO something as well.  I’d spend quality time with each child every day.  Again, major epic Lenten failure.  Thanks to the house-stuff (and basically my lameness) the one-on-one mother-child bonding time just didn’t happen every single day.  It did work in adding to my mommy guilt though.  Awesome.

 

Here we are, a year-ish later, and it’s Lent time, baby!  For Catholics, Lent should be a time of reflection – reevalutating our lives and realigning them with Christ. And we’re even told to buck up!  We’re not to whine and groan and throw a pity party through the whole thing nor are we to brag about our sacrificial piety and general awesomeness.  Let’s see, we’re on what, Lent Day 3?  I – ever the open book – have already dropped the ball with this one.  Telling everyone I meet and their dog what I’m doing and how DIFFICULT – woe is me – it is.  Oops.

 

Getting the kids (the boys) on board with this sacrifice-idea has been a challenge this year.  They thought they were just SO funny with suggestions like: “I’m giving up school!” (Matthew).  And “I know! I’ll give up vegetables!” (Zachary).  Meanwhile I – not so subtly – suggest (several times a day) to Kayliana that she should REALLY consider giving up toddler tantrums for Lent.  No go, thus far. 

 

Since I was so Lenten Lameness last year, I’ve taken it to the extreme this year.  I’ve been way over zealous and for the first part of the week – and even Ash Wednesday – upon hearing what other people were giving up/doing, I thought, “Ooh! Ooh! I’ll do that too….Oh that’s a good idea, maybe I should give that up in addition to…and….and…!” 

 

Apparently I’m at a place where I feel the need for some major soul spring-cleaning. But seeing as this is MY blog – and will also be the lasting memoir for my children to read when I’m but a distant memory – I do like to catalogue my life ‘n such here, so I WILL explain my Lenten plan…or at least some of it.  A girl’s gotta keep SOME secrets.  A few posts ago (http://jenny524.blogspot.com/2013/01/nutritarian-wha.html) I wrote about some recent alarming discoveries that I’ve made.  This moved me to really think about what we’re eating and feeding our children and while I realize that Lent is not supposed to just be a convenient time to diet, the six weeks does coincide nicely with the six weeks that Dr. Fuhrman recommends as a sort of cleanse to a Vegan diet.  http://fatfreevegan.com/blog/2010/01/01/eat-to-live-6-week-plan/ So, Mike and I are trying it with a few exceptions (that we typed up).  We won’t make anyone cook Vegan for us, should we be invited for a meal.  I’m still having my one dark chocolate with my morning coffee.  And come March 16^th – when we get to attend the boys’ school auction – we will SO eat the expensive meal that we’ve paid for (and we’ll enjoy it, darn it).  Oh, and for the record, I didn’t give up alcohol, but I am definitely limiting my intake.  (Jesus’ first miracle WAS turning water into wine, afterall). Maybe I’ll give up drinky-poo’s for another Lent, but for this year, I’ve already got enough on my plate (mostly leafy greens).

 

To get into the groove, I made a version of Dr. Furhman’s “Anti-Cancer Soup” last week.  http://lowfatveganchef.com/how-to-make-dr-fuhrmans-eat-to-live-anti-cancer-soup-with-photos/ Due to our lack of high-powered blender/food processor, my version turned out quite textured and lumpy.  Essentially, it looked like vomit.  (Warning: this photo is not for the weak of stomach).  Matthew saw it and attempted to politely lie, “Mmmm, that looks good.”  I laughed and said, “No, it doesn’t.  It looks like throw-up.”  With which the boys were only too eager to agree.  Mike, Kayli and I all thought it was actually VERY tasty.  Matthew gagged down his required 9 bites (to correspond with his age).  Zachary sobbed through three bites (he just couldn’t get through six) and, as always when I make soup, questioned my love for him.  (“If you love me, why would you make me eat soup when you know I H-word it?!”  [H-word, of course, is that unacceptable four-letter word, H-A-T-E.]  He means business with his dislike of soup.)  I tried to explain that this soup was basically saving his life and he essentially has the most amazing mom in the world.  He rolled his eyes, looked down at his full bowl of steaming hot barf –  I mean soup – and shuddered.

Epiphanies

It’s amazing to have those ah-ha-Oprah-full-circle-come-to-Jesus-epiphany moments when clarity and the meaning of your life just hits you like a tanker truck.  Now, I realize life doesn’t always work this way.  I think more often than not, we DON’T know why some of the dooty in our life happens, but when the dooty comes and smacks us in the face (hypothetically, of course), it can really awaken us to the truth and we finally just…get it. 

Well, I had a moment like this.  It was a few months ago, actually.  But another more recent ah-ha-Oprah-full-circle-come-to-Jesus-epiphany moment of awakening reminded me of the aforementioned realization.  I’ll start with the more recent one and work back from there.

We -- Mike, the boys, and I – were discussing the topic of the current ‘Google doodle’ contest for kids.  The line for which kids create a Google logo-themed design is: “My best day ever.”  We were discussing ‘best days’ ever.  Of course, the boys took this to mean the most amazing, magical (let’s face it, pretty unrealistic) day they could possibly imagine…which is fine; it can be interpreted however one wants.  I took it to heart and started to really ponder this: could I name one – just ONE – best day ever?  And without a second’s hesitation I realized that yes, yes I sure can.

Obviously, most people would name their obvious top days: your wedding day, the birth of your children, etc.  These are most certainly on the top of my list, but the issue with those days for me was – while they were undeniably joyous and miraculous and had great moments of awe-inspiring wonder – they will always be marred by the stress and worry that accompanied them.  Mike was so ill on the morning of our wedding, we thought we might have to cancel the whole thing.  Once through with the ceremony and reception (both of which did go smoothly), we headed to the ER where we spent our wedding night.  Not the most bliss-filled experience, honestly.  Matthew’s birth-date – while incredible – was full of surprise, delight and immense fear.  Five weeks early, our 5 pound peanut – thought to be a girl – was a well-endowed little boy who was immediately whisked off to the NICU where I wouldn’t get to hold him for over 24 hours.  An amazing day, yes, but also not the most ideal of circumstances.  Then a similar story with Zachary’s arrival into the world.  An even smaller peanut who I didn’t get to hold or nurse or cuddle for a long time.  I know so many people have way more tramautic labor and delivery stories than this, and we are SO very blessed because, in the end we have these two incredible healthy boys, but their first entries into this world weren’t exactly stress-free and nonstop joy.  None-the-less, their birthdays will always be special to me.  But these two momentous days were not The One.  However, I’d like to think – I hope, nay, I know – that Matthew and Zachary will understand that The One – my Best Day Ever – was in a huge part because of them.

My best day ever was the day we brought Kayliana home from the hospital.  That day was more intense and powerful than stressful.  Kayli was placed in my arms by her birthmom.  (Did I forget about the pain that Mia must’ve been feeling?  No.  Not for a second.  My heart broke for her while it simultaneously was beyond full of joy.  Just trying to understand how she could’ve made that ultimate sacrifice deepened my awareness of what a blessing our daughter – and her birth mom – are.)  Kayliana came home.  We introduced Matthew and Zachary to their brand new baby sister.  When they rocked in the chair before bed, they held her and sang lullabies; I stood in the doorway and after capturing a quick photo, wept tears of joy.  That was my best day – my best moment – ever because I knew…I knew from the depths of my soul that our family was complete.  Whole. 

So, that’s my Best Day EVER…to date.  I’m still open to having more awesome, amazing, incredible days, but it’s hard to imagine topping that day.

OK, so my other big ah-ha-Oprah-full-circle-come-to-Jesus-epiphany moment is…well…pretty different.  It, first of all, took place in an Applebee’s restroom.  I kid you not.  Hey, Jesus is everywhere, even in the bathrooms of casual dining establishments. 

Mike and I were on our way to present an Engaged Encounter retreat weekend to 30ish couples.  We’d stopped for dinner.  Maybe it was the glass of wine (does Applebees have especially potent wine?!), but I’m pretty sure Jesus spoke to me while I made a quick pitstop before we left the restaurant.  It came to me in one quick rush of understanding.  I suddenly knew.  I finally understood why everything happened why it had happened.  If Mike hadn’t had Cancer in our first year of marriage (and doctors, therefore, telling us we might not get pregnant or it might take a while), then we might not’ve tried to get pregnant when we did…which lead to the conception of Matthew (who we were told would be a girl but was a perfect, surprise of a bouncing baby boy)…two years later we get pregnant with Zachary but at 28 weeks I go into preterm labor and get locked up in the hospital for seven weeks of bed rest (which resulted in the birth of this blog AND…) another sweet little preemie boy…who was discharged from the NICU after one week and sent home with us…where I proceeded to be slapped in the face by a bad case of Postpartum Depression (is there such a thing as a good case?! I don’t think so)…because of the bed rest and the PPD…so I start therapy and begin the long (never-ending) process of working through some of this history…and after a few more years…we eventually come to the conclusion that we do want another child and that adoption is the best route for us…which lead us to the adoption agency Amara…which brought us the info on Mia…who picked us as her daughter’s forever family…which has automatically placed us in the longterm blessing of being automatic spokespeople for adoption…which lead us to, when needing to update our Engaged Encounter presentations last year…writing an entire talk on the discernment process that helped us work through everything that I just talked about and conclude that adoption was the way to go for us (full circle-y, huh?)…so that now, every single EE retreat we present on, we are planting the seed of adoption in at least 30 engaged couples…of these 30 couples, unfortunately, approximately five of them will experience infertility and may, just may, think back on their EE weekend and how they heard this amazing story of adoption and perhaps it will lead them to consider it and discern that adoption or foster-to-adopting is right for them too.  (And obviously, couples who don’t experience infertility can ALSO adopt, I’m just going with some stats here).  If we continue our average of the last ten years and present at least three wEEkends a year, that’s 15 couples annually who might be affected by our story and maybe, just maybe, that’s why everything worked out as it did. 

And, while I could’ve done without some of the stress along the way, as you can see by my Best Day Ever, I’m pretty glad things DID work out as they did.  And God Bless Applebee’s.

The Best Day Ever moment

Scout

Today we celebrate the two year anniversary of officially/legally adopting Kayliana into our family!   I’ll never forget what the judge said.  As we stood there before the bench, he looked us over and said, “I can tell that she’ll bless you as much as you’ll bless her.”  So true.

Last week, we went through an adoption process of a slightly (OK, VERY) different nature…from our local Humane Society, I brought home our first family pet since Mistletoe – our Christmas kitty who had to be put down the day AFTER Christmas, 2006.  Little 3 month old Lop bunny rabbit – “Scout” – is the perfect little fluff ball for us!  I’ll openly admit that I’ve been dealing with some doggie desires for a while now.  Mike is SOooo not ready and really, especially with my ZERO dog-ownership experience, it would be better for us to wait until – obviously – he’s 100% pumped AND if our animal-loving, kind of injury-prone wild-child, Kayli, is a tad bit older.  So for now all our pet-loving-caring energy can go to this adorable little fluffer-nutter bunny.  Currently, he lives in the cage we got for him and we let him out several times a day to hop around the kitchen (blocked off so he can’t escape to the rest of the non-bunny-proofed house).  We’re working on litterbox training though so far he seems to prefer his litterbox for sleeping in and the rest of his cage for pooping in.  Oye.  We’ll get there; it may just take time and lots of poop-practice!

Nutritarian?!!! Wha...?

Well, shoooot, only a few weeks into 2013 and I’m already struggling with one of my resolutions (#1 even!!): No guilt.  I’ve experienced a ginormous shift in my understanding of my resolution #4 (health) which has caused some issues with resolution #1 (no guilt).  I just finished reading the book Disease-Proof Your Child by Dr. Joel Furhman.  It has pretty much just completely verified everything I already knew (a primarily veggie-fruit based diet is based) and has also added a side-serving of guilt regarding all the foods I’ve been feeding my kids (and myself) for years.  Now, we ate fairly well.  Really, we did.  The boys still don’t like soda – thank goodness – we typically only had desserts on the weekend.  They only have juice a few times a week.  We drank fat-free milk.  We usually only ate lean meats and even then it wasn’t every single lunch or dinner…but still.  Basically I was already planning on cutting out all processed foods of which we can’t pronounce all the ingredients…but Dr. Furhman takes it to a whole new level.  You can see his ideal food pyramid here: http://www.drfuhrman.com/library/foodpyramid.aspx.  On paper it really doesn’t seem THAT different from what we were already attempting to do but putting it into practice is a whole other story.  Obviously this is the ideal and it’s what we’re working towards, but holy dooty, no-to-little cheese is going to be the toughest one especially for the kiddos where adding cheese to a veggie-filled pasta or quinoa or veggie-stuffed whole wheat tortilla was kind of the way to get them to really eat it.  Our kids do well with some veggies – they’re actually awesome with carrots, steamed broccoli, green beans, bell peppers, etc.  Basically the standard vegetables, but getting them (and us) on board with eating basically 75% vegetables (‘the salad as the main dish’) will be an adjustment.  See how even the whole grains are way higher up on the pyramid?!  As carbivores – granted healthy ones, you know whole grains, whole wheat, etc. – this is a change for sure.

Anyway, so, we’re working on eating this way.  I was already working through all of this when my bestie, Rebecca, heard some upsetting news and did some pretty extensive research.  It SHOULD seem off topic to go from discussing food and eating well to aborted fetuses, right?!  Startling segue, yes?  Sadly, no.  Thanks to her research and helpful links on HER blog: http://mammavintage.blogspot.com/2013/01/a-second-modest-proposal.html I’ve recently learned that MANY food companies (including Pepsi, Nabisco, Kraft, Cadbury and Nestle) use aborted fetal cells in their food testing or manufacturing.  Yet another startling and sickening discovery and reason to seriously avoid processed foods that are made out of weird man-made chemicals and things that you can’t pronounce.  The list was provided on www.preventdisease.com.  Kinda freakin’ me out!  My days of daily Diet Pepsi ended on January 1^st and boy, am I ever glad! 

Now, I will continue to work on making my kids the “weird” ones at school who pull out their lunch of tofu, quinoa and steamed veggies! Kale-beet juice anyone?!  But the good news is there ARE ways of making eating this way appetizing to kids, and trust me, I’m trying my best, but honestly, what I learned from Dr. Furhman, is that as long as kids regularly eat garbage (I’m not talking chicken nuggets every day, I’m talking about the way we were eating: whole wheat Ritz crackers, maybe a healthy-seeming granola bar for snack, the occasional Oreo cookie, maybe a frozen cheese pizza for family movie night, etc.) this transition will be WAY harder.  We’re not in any position to just throw out the ‘evil’ foods still lurking in our pantry (and that’d be wasteful anyway), but I am hoping that – without too much guilt and torture – I can transition us all to being “Nutritarians.” (If you’re interested in learning more, I highly recommend the book that I read or Dr. Furhman’s other book Eat to Live or Super Immunity.  Another great way to access some more info is getting on YouTube and watching his videos there; just search for Dr. Furhman). 

The clan kiddos

2013, baby!

It’s official: Christmas has come and gone.  Even New Year’s is already over.  Sniff sniff.  I have to say – without exaggeration – that this holiday season was the best one I’ve ever had.  On Christmas morning, I’d set my alarm for 7:15 so that I could get up, start coffee, start breakfast and be ‘in place’ for the children’s appearance at the top of the stairs at 8am.  Well, I was so eager and excited, I woke up before the arlarm and hopped out of bed.  The kids actually managed to sleep until about 8:15 which was surprising considering the amount of happy anticipation filling their heads.  And as rarely happens with me, my expectations were surprisingly exceeded by reality.  So often I have such lofty dreams of what a certain event or day will be like that there’s no way that reality can live up to it.  But not this time, friends.  Christmas was magical.  I was moved on many occasions with the overwhelming knowledge of how blessed we are.  We really could’ve had nothing under the Christmas tree and I still would’ve been happy.  But, let’s face it: the stuff under the tree was pretty great too.  I’m proud of us though as I don’t feel like we go crazy overboard.  The kids did a couple of the bigger items they wanted (for Zachary: a castle-thingy and a Playmobil pirate ship; for Matthew: a Star Wars lego; for Kayliana: a backpack – that she now wears when we take the boys to and from the bus stop – she also got a few other great toys that she loves).  Santa also brought us a sled which is genius seeing as we live on the top of a pretty friggin’ ginormous hill now.  Yay! Santa’s SO clever (AND shops for things second hand on Craigslist).

So, Christmas was wonderful and the remaining few days of winter vacation were mostly relaxing and quiet…until our best friends moved in for “Camp Christmas.”  Then the days were just crazy-awesome.  They came: Jason, Rebecca, Jason’s 15 year old daughter Adrienne, their two boys Joshua and Noah, their 1 ½ year old daughter Veronica and their Australian Shepherd puppy Kahlua; it was a full house and we loved every single fun-packed minute of it.  From Saturday afternoon until Tuesday afternoon we ate, we drank, we played games; we never got enough of each other.  Sunday evening we went to “Celebration Lane” – the fun-stivities at the local mall where over 100 drummers dressed as toy soldiers parade out every evening and rock out.  There’s fake snow.  There are noise makers.  We brought hot buttered rum.  I think we may have actually had more fun than the kids!  Monday night was New Year’s Eve and that was one for the books.  Adrienne babysat the kiddos so that the grown-ups could go out.  Rebecca’s parents had rented a party bus to take 25 of us around downtown Seattle for the night.  It. Was. SO. Much. Fun.  We danced on the bus.  We took over a bar near Pike Place Market.  We went to Kerry Park (with hundreds of others with the same idea) and watched the Space Needle lit up in fireworks as we counted down to midnight.  After that we partied our way to Dick’s Drive In for delicious greasy fries, burgers and shakes.  Mike’s butt accidentally dialed my parents at 1am – waking them from their slumber – ruh roh!  We fell into our beds exhausted, elated and not too drunk, thank you very much, sometime after 3. 

It all came to an end way too soon.  But now we’re here, several days of 2013 already behind us.  It’s clean slate time.  Christmas got packed up and put away yesterday (I’m still working through the grieving process).  But I’ll admit it’s nice to get the house cleaned up. It’s actually pretty exciting as we packed up yesterday as LAST year, post-Christmas we were starting to pack the house for staging, selling and moving.  So, a lot of our framed photos and decorative stuff just got packed up with Christmas and stayed there.  I haven’t seen some of it in nearly a year, so it was fun to get it back out again. 

Anyway, New Year’s Resolution time.  As someone who LOVES goal-setting, calendars and list-making, resolutions are more of a few-times a year thing for me, but it’s refreshing at New Year’s since everybody is on board the let’s-better-ourselves train.  I’m pretty pumped with my list. I feel like it’s do-able and I’m well on my way to making them a permanent part of my life.

In no particular order:

1. NO GUILT.  I’m pretty excited about this.  I came up with it a couple of months ago when I was feeling guilty about something totally stupid that I needn’t have felt guilty about and yet GUILTY has kinda just been a permament part of my vibe.  I ALWAYS feel (FELT) guilty about something, and I suffer from a variety of forms of guilt: mom’s guilt (not playing enough with the kids, general sucky in my job at raising humanoids); Catholic guilt (since Day 1 this has been a part of my existence.  Without murdering anyone or becoming a terrible person I plan on continuing the Catholic part but ditching the guilt).  Blogger’s guilt (I don’t do it nearly as much as I’d like to.  It started out daily – easy when you consider that I was trapped in a hospital on bedrest, but eventually went to twice a week and now is, on average every 7-12 days or so.  I’d LOVE to blog more; I’d LOVE to write more, but I need to not feel guilty when it doesn’t happen because instead of writing about my life, I’m busy livin’ it).  Recycler’s guilt (Yup, we live in Seattle.  It’s not easy being Green).  Runner’s guilt (if I don’t run three times a week, the guilt starts to add up).  Anyway, you could see the list is endless.  But not anymore, friends, 2013, I am 100% GUILT FREE!

2. HEALTH.  Yeah, yeah, everyone puts “lose x amount of pounds” down for a New Year’s resolution.  And I hate to be cliché, but as someone who has always struggled with my weight (despite the occasional Marathon, Half Marathon and weekly spin classes at the gym), I’ve realized that my health/weight goals need to be more about the lifestyle change and self-acceptance than about the number on the scale.  I’m going to continue my 3 morning a week runs with my neighbors from the old ‘hood.  (Unless it’s icey up here and I can’t make it).  I’ll continue my Tuesday morning indoor cycling class (my weekly Spin class is a sacred space that I RARELY let anything get in the way of).  We – Mike and I – are also going to start the p90X DVD workout series.  So, yeah, we’re pretty much going to be completely ripped and out of control buff…BUT the general goal is overall health.  We’re beginning to eat cleaner – more ‘whole’ foods (like how they were in nature, not all processed with ingredients that can’t be pronounced) and continuing to make sure that the kids eat this way (and LOVE it, darn it)!  As for the kids, I’ve been taking the boys out for walk/jogs with me.  It’s amazing how the second we’re outside, they just open their mouths and talk the whole time.  It’s such a great bonding time and obviously a healthy habit to form.  We have tons of trails that we can access from our house, so it’s silly not to take advantage of them.  The boys have been in swim lessons; in a few weeks that’ll wrap up and Zachary will do basketball for a couple months followed by Matthew’s baseball season.  Kayli gets daily exercise walking to and from the boys’ bus stop (that adds up to over a half mile every day).  Plus, she’s nonstop ripping around the house, running up and down the stairs, trying to climb most objects, doing chin-ups and swinging under the kitchen counter, etc.  I feel good about where we’re at with health, and more importantly about where we’re headed!

3. MY TIME: I’m going to be smarter with it.  Less pointless time on the internet, screens (TV, computer) will be turned off by 10pm every night so I get to sleep earlier, AND I will have more time for reading.  I’ve been reading a a couple of really good books lately, so I’m definitely on the right track with that.

4. MY FAVE: I’m going to have bubble baths!!! Like ideally once a week!  This is the best New Year’s Resolution EVER. 

Here’s to 2013!

[photo upload thingy isn't working right now.  grrr. pictures to come...]

Bubbles and bubbly (well, actually, just wine)

I can’t believe that today is Christmas Eve Eve.  It’s almost here; it’s nearly here!  And while the excitement for Christmas continues to build and escalate in this house with a constant rumble and trembling of joy, I feel a simultaneous build-up of sadness in the pit of my stomach.  It’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older, and I just don’t understand it nor do I know what to do about it.  I’m so freakishly, insanenly enthralled with the whole Christmas season.  From the moment that I’m ‘allowed’ to listen to Christmas music (according to Mike this is socially acceptable the day after Thanksgiving), I’m giddy with the joy that IS the season – the lights, the music, the tree, the Advent calendar and wreath, the movies, the food, the drink…it all.  Obviously, the stress of the season gets to me too – all of the shopping, errands, festivities (which are great, but do fill up the calendar), cooking, cleaning, overly excited (i.e. out of control cranky) children, etc.  That wears me down too, but for the most part, I just can’t get enough of CHRISTMAS…until Christmas.  As it draws nearer instead of feeling more excited, I start to feel the impending doom of its’ ‘doneness.’  It’s like I’m PRE-sad knowing that so soon it will come to an end.  On December 26^th, when I turn on the radio and it’s back to regular ‘ol boring non-Jesus’ birthday or Santa-themed tunes, I’m SO disappointed. 

 

I’m about to admit something a little embarrassing but that, quite frankly, is the part of the essence of me (the “Jenessence” --- a term that dates back to the early days of this here nearly seven year-long, Blog); so, take it or leave it, but here goes.  This is how much I love Christmas: a couple of weeks ago, Mike and I were sitting by the tree in a rare moment of peace.  The three kids were upstairs all playing together well and in harmony.  (Seriously, a Christmas miracle).  Christmas music was playing (of course, as it has been, CONSTANTLY since exactly a month ago – November 23^rd), I was having a glass of wine (shocker) and ignoring the mountain of dishes in the kitchen sink so that we could just enjoy the moment.  I was telling Mike just how much I love Christmas, in particular, the whole Santa thing.  I’m still completely enamored with the magic of it all.  As a parent now, I obviously gain a different perspective of this Santa business and in some ways it has added such a depth and enjoyment to the experience.  They say, with children, you have the advantage of seeing life through their eyes.  It’s easier to ‘embrace your inner child’ when you’re surrounded by them…so maybe this is why the Santa thing has actually gotten harder as I’ve matured.  I explained to Mike that I just think the whole idea of Santa is so spectacular and magical and wonderful and [make sure your children are not reading this!!!...] amazing that it kind of breaks my heart that it’s not actually real and then…I…started…to cry.  Yes, I cried because there’s no such thing as Santa.  I didn’t even cry about this when I was a kid!  Sure, I was maybe extra emotional that night, maybe it was a more ‘tender time’ for me (if you will J), but I shed legit tears of sadness over…Santa.  Wow.

 

Anyway, as Christmas does come closer, and therefore, soon comes to an end, I’m trying my darndest to fight the inevidable sadness heading my way.  Tonight, in an effort to fight this and to, quite frankly, spoil myself, I did something that I haven’t done in almost exactly (to the day!) seven years.  I took a bubble bath.  Stay with me as I paint this picture (but try not to paint one too vividly in your head, you sicko).  The last time I soaked in a tub was when I was pregnant with Zachary and we were at a bed and breakfast in Leavenworth after Christmas.  When I told this to Mike he was like, “Well, yeah, I don’t even remember the last time I took a bath.”

 

I looked at him and stated the obvious, “That’s ‘cuz you’re a huge dude.”

 

I, on the other hand, do LOVE a good bubble bath and yet, and yet, it’s been SEVEN YEARS!!  So, finally, today was the big day.  I planned my entire day around the fact that this bath tonight would happen, darn it!  And it was going to be amazing!  And. It. Was.

 

We actually have a nice big soaking tub in the master bath of our ‘new’ house (of seven months already!).  I lit candles; I filled that tub full of bubbles and steaming hot water.  I had the best Christmas album of all time playing – Nat King Cole’s, obviously.  I had a glass of wine.  I had a book to read, but I didn’t actually start reading for quite a while.  I just basked in the glory of this completely self-indulgent, relaxing and TOTALLY earned bathing activity!  I laid there and listened to the rain on the skylight.  I listened to Nat.  I breathed deeply.  I thought about how I’m SO not going to wait another seven years for my next bubble bath.  Quite frankly, I don’t know if I’ll even be able to wait seven days.  So at least I’ve got that to look forward to post-Christmas (oh, and some insanely fun New Year’s plans…but more on that…later).  Merry Christmas!

Ms. Jenny -- local celebrity, her star status

(real names and places have been adjusted so that I can share this story without losing future business or feeling like an awful person)

 

“It’s like you’re Angelina Jolie.”

 

“Or Madonna!” I suggested.

 

This is just a typical conversation that Rebecca and I had recently about my celebrity status.  I just wrapped up teaching a four week session of music classes at a library.  This library happens to be located on the often-known-to-be-prestigious-well-off-and-yuppy island upon which I grew up.  Ms. Librarian, at this library, was, for the most part very nice, helpful and accommodating, but she was also kinda somethin’ else.

 

After talking to the librarians at the two libraries that I taught at a couple of years ago she called me in a panic.

 

“Look,” Ms. Librarian said, “They raved about your music program, but they also said that it caused rioting.”

 

“Uh, rioting?” I asked.

 

“Yes, rioting and we just can’t have rioting here at the Yuppy Island Library.”

 

The “rioting” that she was referring to was the fact that, due to the number of instruments I have, we have to limit the number of toddler/preschoolers and parental unit/caregivers that can attend each class.  Initially, I’d said, 20 should be the max number, but in order to be more flexible, I said that we could make it work with 30.

 

“We’ll have a sign-up sheet for each week which we won’t put out until the week before each class.  I’m going to limit the ages to 2-3 year olds only this session and make sure to check at the door…” Ms. Librarian said.

 

(Is she a bouncer?!  Do 2-3 year olds carry I.D.s?  Would Moms start a black market business of whipping up fake I.D.’s so their 4 year olds actually appear to be younger and can attend my class?!)

 

“Also,” Ms. Librarian continued, “I’m not going to advertise the class until shortly before it starts, we just can’t handle having too many… we just can’t have…”

 

“Rioting?” I offered.

 

“Yes,” Ms. Librarian agreed. “So, if you could also not tell anyone about the class.  Don’t mention it on your website, and especially don’t tell your students from the previous library classes. I don’t want your following here taking the spots away from the Yuppy Island children.”

 

I assured her that a.) I don’t have a website, b.) I don’t typically see any of my previous library students – except for the occasional random, public sighting when I’m approached and asked for an autograph (not really, but I have had people come up to me at the grocery story or library and say, “Aren’t you Ms. Jenny?!  We took your class a few years ago…”). Besides c.) those children would all be in preschool or Kindergarten now anyway.  Not much of a following.  Then, being the savvy business woman that I’ve become, I suggested that, is she’s really concerned about accommodating so many students, they could always book me for two back-to-back classes on each of the four Wednesdays. That way we could provide music to 60 of the young Yuppy Islanders.

 

“You know, I wish we could, but you’re very expensive.  You’re cleaning out our 2012 budget.”  I mumbled something about how I’m totally worth it and we signed off the phone.

 

A few weeks later, Ms. Librarian called again in a TOTAL panic.

 

“I don’t know how this happened, but someone LEAKED the news about your class and it’s all over.  It was published in the Yuppy Island Preschool Association’s newsletter…hundreds of families now know about you coming here!”

 

I tried to reassure her, especially since our first class was the day before Thanksgiving, but I’m pretty sure the poor woman was about to have a nervous breakdown.

 

As for Rebecca’s and my conversation about my celebrity status…She had helpful tips suggesting that I come in with all sorts of Diva demands like “I’ll need an iced Perrier with two slices of lemon…the room should be kept at 67 degrees…” etc.

 

Finally, the first day of class arrived.  I got to the library way freakishly earlier than I needed to primarily to appease Ms. Librarian.  It only takes me about five minutes to set-up but I knew she’d be having a fit if it was getting closer to class time and I wasn’t there yet.

 

As I set up my stuff, she tried – she tried so very hard – to be helpful.  But I’ve realized, I’ve done this for long enough now, I’m kind of a well-oiled machine.

 

As I pulled out my box of egg shakers she said, “We have some egg shakers that you’re welcome to use.”

 

“Oh, thanks, I think I’ll have more than enough though.  I brought enough for 30+ kids.”

 

I pulled out my little boombox. “You can use our stereo if you’d like.”

 

“That’s OK.  Thank you.  I’ve got mine all ready to go.  Thanks!”

 

I pulled out my water bottle.  “Can I get you some water or anything?”  (And yes, she WAS watching me do all this before she asked).

 

“Um, nope, I’m set, thanks.”

 

“Is there anything you’d like?” Ms. Librarian asked.

 

I looked at her and completely seriously said, “I’d really love a backrub.”

 

She paused – startled for a minute, “Oh—“

 

“I’m kidding,” I quickly said. “Nope, I’m fine, thanks for the help though.”

 

Anyway, that first class that we (she) was so very worried about was a piece of cake.  And, because it WAS the day before Thanksgiving it was not a crazy mass hoard of rioting mothers and toddlers at all.  We actually only had about 20 kiddos plus their adult chaperone.  After class, as I packed up my stuff, Ms. Librarian chattered on and on about how great it was and how she loved all the early literacy components that I included (she said the same thing to me after every class).

 

“I do wish we could have you more, but you’re just so expensive and we don’t have anything left in the budget…”

 

(Yeah, you’ve mentioned that before, I thought).

 

Each week went about the same, she’d introduce me and say that my program was provided by the wonderful Friends of the Yuppy Island, and “Now, let’s all give Ms. Jenny a warm welcome,” and everyone would clap while I smiled and nodded awkwardly.  And then each class went smashingly well followed by Ms. Librarian raving to me about how great it was – kind of ad naseum.  After my last class on Wednesday, she handed me a small envelope and then proceeded to tell me that it was a thank you note and went on to explain the contents.  I will say though, Ms. Librarian, does seem to be acting upon her admiration.  She asked if she can tell all of the other library branches about my program and highly recommend it.  I can imagine what she’d said, “Ms. Jenny’s program is great….etc….but she is a little pricey…” But then hopefully, after experiencing it four times and raving about it she WILL add, “But she’s worth every penny.”

 

 

STARS! THEY'RE JUST LIKE US!

They attend their child's 1st grade music concert.

(Photo snapped by Paparazzi photographer, Matthew, age 9).

 

 

Santa!

We did it! We went and saw Santa!  Kayli stood there as we waited for our turn all excited, and then as we started to walk towards him she did the slow motion, stiff as a board, I refuse to take another step closer, mini-meltdown.  We managed to cut her off with a quick, “You get to sit on Matthew’s lap!” ..where she proceeded to look awfully nervous and suspicious of the guy behind her until she’d finally had enough and melted off Matthew’s lap to run into my arms crying.  The photographer said, “Oh! Did you want a candy cane?”

 

I kid you not; Kayli immediately went from mid-sob to full faced grin and gave a watery exclamation of “Yes!!”  She ran BACK to Santa and sat on his lap smiling from ear-to-ear.  Unfortunately all of the pictures with her smiling were terrible or awkward-weird of everyone else.  It was like the boys AND Santa had used up their nice smiles in the first round of photos.  In one of the photos from the second batch (with a happy Kayli), Santa’s eyes were half closed and he looked like a ringing endorsement for the new legalization of Marijuana in Washington state.  Needless-to-say, we opted to pick the best photo from the first set despite Kayli’s stone cold face (but thought it was better than Santa’s STONED face option later).