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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Work is well underway! Bathrooms – pretty much painted and completed. Master bedroom – painted. More packing – done. Stairwell railing – painted. Hallway walls – patched and ready to be painted. I’m on fire! (Except that I’m totally putting off the biggest project: painting the hallway which connects to part of the kitchen which in turn also means painting part of the dining room. Totally procrastinating on that one.) I also need to prime and paint one dark royal blue wall in the boys’ room, and I’ll be painting the entire laundry room. The other bigger-ish inside project is the bathtub – bleaching it and regrouting/touching up grout in it. Isn’t this just SO exciting to read about? It’s a little crazy how all-consuming getting your house ready to sell is.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said the word “carpet” more in the last five days than in my entire life before this. The debate was whether or not we need to replace the old nasty thing. Yes, the house could use new carpet. We’ve once been told (by my mother-dear) and I quote, “You could boil this carpet and make soup!” Paints a pretty picture doesn’t it? I know that we need new carpet, I know that replacing the carpet before we sell could make us sell faster, could get us more money, could really be the best way to go….BUT…The thought of moving out all of our furniture, having a hard deadline for getting the painting done, having to disassemble the boys’ loft beds, it just kind of left a huge pit in my stomach and I couldn’t shake that “gut feeling.” In the end, after a lot of research and discussion (between Mike and I and with many other knowledgable peoples,) we’ve decided to go against our realtors’ suggestion and NOT replace the carpet, and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me. Yes, when we’re on the market for possibly extra time, I may be a little frustrated with the ‘having to keep the house perfectly clean and show ready at all times’ thing, but I can guarantee you that I won’t, for a second regret not pulling our house apart to get new carpet first! Phew! I feel like the rest of the house work is very daunting, but do-able and we’ll manage, whereas the carpet situation could’ve really pushed me over the edge! Scary house Jenny is never a good thing!
Work is well underway! Bathrooms – pretty much painted and completed. Master bedroom – painted. More packing – done. Stairwell railing – painted. Hallway walls – patched and ready to be painted. I’m on fire! (Except that I’m totally putting off the biggest project: painting the hallway which connects to part of the kitchen which in turn also means painting part of the dining room. Totally procrastinating on that one.) I also need to prime and paint one dark royal blue wall in the boys’ room, and I’ll be painting the entire laundry room. The other bigger-ish inside project is the bathtub – bleaching it and regrouting/touching up grout in it. Isn’t this just SO exciting to read about? It’s a little crazy how all-consuming getting your house ready to sell is.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said the word “carpet” more in the last five days than in my entire life before this. The debate was whether or not we need to replace the old nasty thing. Yes, the house could use new carpet. We’ve once been told (by my mother-dear) and I quote, “You could boil this carpet and make soup!” Paints a pretty picture doesn’t it? I know that we need new carpet, I know that replacing the carpet before we sell could make us sell faster, could get us more money, could really be the best way to go….BUT…The thought of moving out all of our furniture, having a hard deadline for getting the painting done, having to disassemble the boys’ loft beds, it just kind of left a huge pit in my stomach and I couldn’t shake that “gut feeling.” In the end, after a lot of research and discussion (between Mike and I and with many other knowledgable peoples,) we’ve decided to go against our realtors’ suggestion and NOT replace the carpet, and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me. Yes, when we’re on the market for possibly extra time, I may be a little frustrated with the ‘having to keep the house perfectly clean and show ready at all times’ thing, but I can guarantee you that I won’t, for a second regret not pulling our house apart to get new carpet first! Phew! I feel like the rest of the house work is very daunting, but do-able and we’ll manage, whereas the carpet situation could’ve really pushed me over the edge! Scary house Jenny is never a good thing!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Zachary is ridiCUTEulously clever. The kid says stuff that blows me away. He’s a little too smart for his own good. He has a very quick and witty sense of humor. And he’s already got his life mapped out. He plans to be a book author and on the side dabble in dancing in scuba diving. Side note: in discussing, moving to a new house and getting their own bedrooms, the boys were discussing what themes they’d like. Matthew insists that he wants a Star Wars theme bedroom. Zach thought for a moment but quickly settled – and has been committed ever since – to having an “Adventures of the Darkness” bedroom. So far, there are two books in his “Adventures of the Darkness” series. I don’t know if it’s a trilogy or how many installments are in the works. When I asked him what an “Adventures of the Darkness” bedroom would look like, he just said, “Look at my books for ideas, Mom.”

This weekend, his latest novella is titled “Spies on Moonlight.” I’m sure it’ll be on the shelves of your local bookstore soon.

Zachary has another plan: he doesn’t want a “real” job (apparently the book writing, scuba diving, dancing stuff doesn’t count. He will be a father and his wife will work.) His wife, you say? Well, yes, that’s all figured out too. He’ll be marrying his betrothed, Veronica. See, Rebecca and I decided early on that we should arrange a marriage between at least two of our offspring. It only seems appropriate with all the possible boy-girl combos between our two families, someone is bound to fall in love and get married. Arranged marriages work all the time in other cultures, so maybe we could fuel the fire a bit – help plant the seed of LUV in order to make this thing a SURE thing.

I don’t really remember how we decided on the Zachary-Veronica combo, but so far it seems to be a good match. Zach is 4 years and one month (to the day!) older than his future-fiance/wife, so he’ll need to be patient (a virtue he currently lacks but will hopefully master).

This year, at our clan’s “Camp Christmas” staycation/New Year’s weekend celebration, Zach unleashed his true feelings for Veronica. She was sitting on the floor playing with some of Kayliana’s toys when Zachary came upstairs. No one else was around (besides me, quietly watching this love story unfold), and apparently Zach wanted to use the opportunity.

He got down on the floor in front of Veronica and in the sweetest, most tender voice I’ve ever heard come out of that child’s mouth he said, “You are so cute. You are cuteness, my wife.”

Then, and I kid you not, he put his hand on her shoulder, looked into her eyes and whispered, “You are my future wife. You are my destiny wife.”

OK. Seriously if these two don’t marry how can I use this stuff in a speech at the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception?!

I quickly reported the adorable interaction to Rebecca and Mike. While, of course, it’s cute, we did want to make sure that Zachary understands that we’re (10%) kidding about our hope that one day those two kids would fall in love. When Zach was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, I decided to have a little heart-to-heart.

“You know, kiddo,” I said, “We’re kidding when we say that you have to marry Veronica.”

“But I want to!” Zach quickly responds.

“OK, but what if she decides to marry someone else?” I gently inquire – hoping to not wound him too much.

“Well…” Zach says and then pauses, thinking, for a long moment, “That’d be a problem……[another long pause]….that I would just have to solve!”


The best friends and proud mothers/mothers-in-law
Zachary is ridiCUTEulously clever. The kid says stuff that blows me away. He’s a little too smart for his own good. He has a very quick and witty sense of humor. And he’s already got his life mapped out. He plans to be a book author and on the side dabble in dancing in scuba diving. Side note: in discussing, moving to a new house and getting their own bedrooms, the boys were discussing what themes they’d like. Matthew insists that he wants a Star Wars theme bedroom. Zach thought for a moment but quickly settled – and has been committed ever since – to having an “Adventures of the Darkness” bedroom. So far, there are two books in his “Adventures of the Darkness” series. I don’t know if it’s a trilogy or how many installments are in the works. When I asked him what an “Adventures of the Darkness” bedroom would look like, he just said, “Look at my books for ideas, Mom.”

This weekend, his latest novella is titled “Spies on Moonlight.” I’m sure it’ll be on the shelves of your local bookstore soon.

Zachary has another plan: he doesn’t want a “real” job (apparently the book writing, scuba diving, dancing stuff doesn’t count. He will be a father and his wife will work.) His wife, you say? Well, yes, that’s all figured out too. He’ll be marrying his betrothed, Veronica. See, Rebecca and I decided early on that we should arrange a marriage between at least two of our offspring. It only seems appropriate with all the possible boy-girl combos between our two families, someone is bound to fall in love and get married. Arranged marriages work all the time in other cultures, so maybe we could fuel the fire a bit – help plant the seed of LUV in order to make this thing a SURE thing.

I don’t really remember how we decided on the Zachary-Veronica combo, but so far it seems to be a good match. Zach is 4 years and one month (to the day!) older than his future-fiance/wife, so he’ll need to be patient (a virtue he currently lacks but will hopefully master).

This year, at our clan’s “Camp Christmas” staycation/New Year’s weekend celebration, Zach unleashed his true feelings for Veronica. She was sitting on the floor playing with some of Kayliana’s toys when Zachary came upstairs. No one else was around (besides me, quietly watching this love story unfold), and apparently Zach wanted to use the opportunity.

He got down on the floor in front of Veronica and in the sweetest, most tender voice I’ve ever heard come out of that child’s mouth he said, “You are so cute. You are cuteness, my wife.”

Then, and I kid you not, he put his hand on her shoulder, looked into her eyes and whispered, “You are my future wife. You are my destiny wife.”

OK. Seriously if these two don’t marry how can I use this stuff in a speech at the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception?!

I quickly reported the adorable interaction to Rebecca and Mike. While, of course, it’s cute, we did want to make sure that Zachary understands that we’re (10%) kidding about our hope that one day those two kids would fall in love. When Zach was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, I decided to have a little heart-to-heart.

“You know, kiddo,” I said, “We’re kidding when we say that you have to marry Veronica.”

“But I want to!” Zach quickly responds.

“OK, but what if she decides to marry someone else?” I gently inquire – hoping to not wound him too much.

“Well…” Zach says and then pauses, thinking, for a long moment, “That’d be a problem……[another long pause]….that I would just have to solve!”


The best friends and proud mothers/mothers-in-law

Thursday, January 12, 2012

It. Is. On. I keep trying to remind myself of my accomplishments (not to be braggy, honestly, but to reassure myself): If I’ve run a marathon, written a book, done 7 weeks of hospital bedrest, spent my wedding night in the ER and then Newlywed time doing Chemo/Radiation, suffered Post Partum Depression, co-coordinated a national convention for nearly 500 people, survived the roller coaster of adoption…….then I should (technically) be able to get our house ready to sell, pack everything up, find the house of our dreams and move all while maintaining some sanity, not murdering anyone (especially the immediate family members), planning a surprise 70th birthday party for my mom (Pat Kramer – I need your email address so I can send you the details! Email my dad), and yet not gain 500 pounds in stress-induced chocolate eating while doing all this. Right? RIGHT?! I should be able to do this. (This reminds me of what Louise – therapist – taught me back in my PPD therapy days…I’m just “shoulding” all over myself and that makes for a big mess.)

So, yes, we’ve decided that it’s time. And while I’m definitely the one responsible for getting this whole ca-razy ball a-rollin’ (think Mountain House Debacle 2011), it’s still understandable that I’m totally, completely and thoroughly conflicted about this. In my head, every other minute, I’m excited about it and, in the next, totally sad about it. How can we leave this house? We’ve been through and experienced so much here! This is the home where we brought our babies from the hospital! This is where it’s all happened. I could go on and on, but I won’t. We’ve lived here 9 years and have packed those years (and this house!!) with an enormous amount of memories (and stuff!).

However, with all that said, we know that change can be hard, but also good. This will be most difficult for Matthew to accept (who has spent the last few months praying fervently every night that we “never move…ever.”) I figure, I’m doing him a service so that he has one moving experience before we kick him out the door for college and force him to move in ten years. Just kidding. (Well, maybe, depending on how the teenage years go.)

Anyway, in conclusion: we’re beginning the arduous task of getting our house, our home, ready for selling. Our goal (self-inflicted because I need/love me a deadline!) is to have the house ready to list March 1st. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ll put it on the market ON March 1st. We’re not moving just to move. We’re moving, ideally, to our forever house. So, we’re going to be awfully picky and it may take a while to find THE ONE (as we know there have been false alarms about THE ONE in the past – think Mountain House Debacle 2011.) But we’ll be ready. As ready as we can be. Gulp.

And to answer the, “So, where are you moving to?” question for those of you who know us: our dream would be to stay in our current awesome little city/suburb but a little more East-ish. We love how centrally located we are right now and that we can walk to our little downtown area – stores, restaurants, soon a library! Why the heck would we leave? We have wonderful neighbors. We have two awesome parks within walking distance too. But, there’s a part of me that loves the idea of being just a little farther away. Having a little more open space – a little more freedom to roam. I mean, there are three mountains and two small lakes within 15 minutes of us currently. Maybe we’ll live on one! Who knows?!

We also are quite open to the awesome bigger suburb/city that is a lot more East-ish – again, Mountain House Debacle 2011 – I would love to end up in the same neighborhood as the original Mountain House, however, that place was a smokin’ deal so I highly doubt we could afford anything else up there. We are also open to possibly going a bit more south yet east which would take us closer to Mike’s office, but we want to stay central for the day that he doesn’t work there (retires or switches companies). We could afford a lot more house and property if we went southeast, but we really do like where we’re at currently. Oh, the choices. Oh, the possibilities. Oh, holy crap. Yeah, I understand why moving is one of those ‘top stressers in life’ things. So, why? Why do it?

Because the Mountain House Debacle planted the seed and now it can’t be unplanted. It’s a great time to do it. The interest rates are riDONCulously good. We bought at a good time nine years ago, so we're able to do this now. It’s a good time to invest in our future, forever home. This will be the home where our children will get an amazing education. The grandkids will come visit us (eventually). Where everyone – kids, their spouses, their offspring – can come for Christmas. Where I will write award-winning novels. Where Mike has an office space for working from home and writing award-winning software. (Guess we should also get a place with an award display area.) Yes, we could do all of those things in this home, but this home, while it’s been wonderful and perfect for us, never felt like our forever home. It's not about anyone else -- it's about us. It’s already a hard decision, and I need to let go of the fact that some friends, family may judge us for it. It’s just what feels right…even though it’s not going to be easy.

So, the search begins…

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Will I EVER be ready for the Christmas season to be over? Every year it comes too soon for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be the person who tears stuff down on the 26th and says, “Thank goodness! I was getting so tired of seeing that stuff.” Our tree is still up and last night I stood in the living room looking at it. I forced myself to ignore all the Christmas-stuff boxes piled on the table waiting to be filled and put back in storage and pretended that Christmas was just beginning not ending.

Christmas this year was really good, actually, in some ways – in weird ways – kind of amazing. I went into Christmas with low expectations. Maybe I’m finally getting Mike’s philosophy that being a “realist” (which I still argue is a pessimist’s way of not wanting to admit they’re pessimistic) kinda makes sense. BFF Rebecca and I had a great conversation in early December. We talked about how, especially as moms, we work our butts off to create family memories/happy holidays and how things never ever go as planned. When it comes to life with kids, there will always be something that’s just not exactly how you want – someone will throw a fit or not have good manners or be in a foul mood or pass gas loudly at the table when company’s over or even just have a hang nail. It’ll be imperfect. So, we decided to wish each other a “Merry Imperfect Christmas,” a “Happy Mediocre New Year.” (We think we’re quite clever and witty.)

So, this year, I went into Christmas: prepared for things to go wrong and armed with the determination to – when things do go wrong – not let it ruin Christmas for me/us. I would find the ‘good’ in every crappy thing that rolled our way. I didn’t know that my plan to accept the lameness would be an invitiation for extra lameness!

Christmas Eve, after bumpin’-crazy-not-the-most-spiritually-fulfilling Mass at church, we headed to our good friends’ house for dinner. Just when we’re about to sit down and eat, Matthew quietly tells Mike and I that he doesn’t feel well. He’s as white as a sheet with dark circles under his eyes. Of course he is! He feels like he’s going to throw up. Of course he does! It’s Christmas Eve. Mike and I took turns sitting with Matthew on the front porch (he also felt really hot.) I WAS slightly disappointed to have to scarf my dinner and rush us all out the door, but I wasn’t THAT disappointed. We got home and Matthew quickly put out cookies for Santa and went to bed. Mike and I were JUST about to head downstairs to get out all the gifts for putting under the tree, when we heard Matthew start vomiting…all over…all over himself and his bed…an insane amount of vomit. But I didn’t really mind. I felt awful that he was sick (obviously) and it wasn’t how I wanted to spend Christmas Eve (naturally), but thankfully the timing worked out beautifully. Had we been downstairs, Matthew would have puked all over himself, the bed, come looking for us covered in nasty and discovered us doing the “Santa thing” and Christmas would’ve never been the same for him ever. His childhood was saved!!

We got him all cleaned up and put back to bed. We waited until; once again, he was asleep. We had pretty much just finished things up and were about to go to bed when we heard the tell-tale signs of puke bucket usage underway. But, once again, I was relieved with the timing. I even told Matthew that we had just gone to bed and Santa had come. So, at 1am on Christmas morning, I let him peek in the living room. Despite feeling awful, this did light up his eyes a little bit.

Christmas morning arrived with all the fun it brings – unwrapping gifts, the constant sound of Christmas music, yummy breakfast (which Matthew took two bites of), etc. We had one intermission in gift-opening so that Matthew could go throw up breakfast. We did spend the day wondering if we’d be able to go have Christmas dinner and do gifts with my parents and brother, but, again with the good timing, by the afternoon Matthew started to feel better. Shortly after we arrived at their place for dinner, Zachary announced that he didn’t feel well. Right. Of course. He laid on their bed – refusing to remove his new Buzzlight Year costume even though it was way too hot – instead of joining us for dinner. We did a quick gift exchange and packed up to come home (including giving each boy his own travel puke-bucket for the car ride.) We made it in the door just in time for Zach to throw up in the toilet.

In conclusion: Christmas was slightly pukey, but I wasn’t. You don’t ever want your kids sick. You really don’t want your kids sick for Christmas, but I’ve learned that 2012 might just be my year of having grown-up expectations. Not in a depressing way, like, “Oh, why even get excited about such-and-such? Something’s bound to go wrong.” No, in a, “I know that life doesn’t always work out as we’d like, but I’m going to try to find the good in ever moment…even the really crappy ones!” In that kind of a way. Yup, 2012 Jenny is optimistic yet realistic. (It’s January 3rd, the next time something pretty lame happens ask me how I handled it and we’ll see how long this whole yay-me-in-sucky-sitations thing actually lasts.)